ME/CFS Support - Words of Appreciation

02/14/2012

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It’s Valentine’s Day.  One of those loosely historical, made up days to sell stuff.
OK that was cynical.  But we seem to have developed an entire year of these almost monthly events which push us to do or buy something.  Or feel out of it if we don’t.

For me, today is an exception.  When I was struggling with ME/CFS, I wasn’t very good at recognizing all the kind and thoughtful things people did for me - family, friends and strangers too.  Unfortunately, for a good part of my struggle, I was seeing everything through a veil of angst – anxiety about my situation tinged with hope for resolution.  This sometimes kept me from seeing the people around me who cared and wanted to support me.  I often forgot, caught up in my own wrestling match of emotions and physical malfunctions, that those around me were feeling some of the same helplessness – not sure of what to say, what to do or when to just be present for me.

For some reason, on the first Valentine’s Day after I was beginning to feel strong again, I felt the desire to express my ‘love’ and appreciation to those who were supporting me.  It started a tradition that I still follow.  Today has become a reminder day for me to stop for a moment and make sure that I let the people in my life know how much they mean to me and how much I appreciate them.  Yes, that’s hokey.  But I prefer it to cynicism.

Are you making time to let people know how much you appreciate them?  Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha
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Holidays and Illness – How Do We Cope?

12/27/2011

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© 2011 TSM
My apologies for missing my blog last Tuesday but even my hardened 11th grade French teacher would have given me a bye week.  My son had surgery which hospitalized him for six days followed by a readmission due to complications.  During the many days I spent with him wading thru the copious obstacles of our medical system, I noticed all the families who were also spending their holidays in the hospital.  I thought often about how I coped with holidays back in my ME/CFS days.

Basically, I had to abandon all visions of ‘the ideal’ holiday, whatever that meant.  While I was still riding the rollercoaster of denial, my holidays were horrendous push/crash cycles.  Mostly crash.  After I started following the protocol, it was an anguished series of choices to try to stay within my known limits.  Whatever success I had was tinged with a dose of guilt and a tad of anger at the medical system and its failure to unravel the mystery of ME/CFS.  But my holidays did get better as I came to understand my version of ME/CFS and what worked or didn’t.

My son came home last night and we are hopeful that he’s home to stay.  How did you cope with your holidays?  Were you able to manage some balance in your energy expenditure or was it push/crash?  Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha
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The Holiday Bustle – If We Choose

12/06/2011

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© 2011 TSM
Before I was sick with ME/CFS, the holidays were a blur of activities in addition to the normal work and family commitments.  A Healthy person struggled to get it all done.

Then I went through four holiday seasons under the constraints of ME/CFS.  For two of them, I was bedridden for most of each day.  As is often the norm for ME/CFS sufferers, I was pretty hard on myself.  All I could think of were the special holiday things that my kids and family weren’t enjoying because of me.  But I couldn’t do anything about it.  So those holidays passed with me needlessly feeling down.

Then came a holiday season when I was feeling stronger – not fully well but better.  And of course, true to form, I wanted to make up for the ‘lost holidays’.  Ha!  Lessons can be tough to learn.  Gratefully, I had people around me and a voice in my own head that said, “Do what you enjoy and let the rest go.”

Now that I am fully well, our holidays are still scaled down and we all like it that way.  It’s more like a delightful sampling of what the season offers than a forced and frenzied banquet.  We don’t do every activity every year.  We switch it out.  Our gift giving is mostly donations to charities, Yankee Swaps (even with family) and special consumables (wine, soup mixes, teas, etc).  We haven’t sent cards in years.  I’m thinking I might send an e-card this year.  Maybe…

How do you get through this season without straining your energy limits and pushing yourself into relapses?  What do you happily forego from the holiday hustle and bustle list?  Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha
2 Comments