ME/CFS Guest Blog – Dealing With Stress by Tim Boland

05/22/2012

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With me, I see that having minimal stress is one of the biggest factors in my feeling better.   I have a business which I run, and though I have delegated a lot of it over the past year, if I have a busy morning which requires phone calls, especially around stressful things, the pain I feel that day is often much more pronounced.  

Before CFS, I still had a lot of stress at times, but I had a better ability to ‘disconnect’, to watch a movie or something on TV which helped to de-stress, to just put the stress aside for the day.   Having pain which typically increases as the day goes by, there is a constant irritant, even on those days when pain is minimal.   I’ve tried to describe it to some others that it’s like having a toothache all day, where the pain may subside but the pain resides in more than one place in my body with CFS.

I listen to a Chi Kung video nearly every day which on some days is remarkably relaxing as it is about developing a deep sense of our own breathing and our bodies.   In the past couple of days I’ve listened to Joseph Campbell’s Mythos, I write to friends on YouTube and post videos there as I love to photograph.   Today I went for a walk and it is uncommonly beautiful here, and I noticed I felt much less pain and happier.   I do feel there is a real connection between feeling happy, uplifted or even having moments of pure silliness, these emotions bring some real relief.   And I am doing much more than I was in my business a year ago, just able to work for longer periods of time, interspersed with very much needed periods of rest.  

I have run into some who say that getting a lot of good sleep and rest really does not make a difference with CFS.   I can’t speak for everyone but for me, sleeping and resting well makes a huge difference.   Having a good sound sleep at night often makes a big difference, in a positive way, in how I feel the next day.

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Thanks Tim!  How do you handle stress?  Do you have any strategies that work?  Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha
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ME/CFS Double Life – Two Identities

03/06/2012

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© 2012 TSM
When I was at my lowest point suffering with ME/CFS, it seemed like I had only one identity – a bedridden sick person.  As I slowly began to regain some functioning, I would have brief periods of experiencing a different identity – a normal healthy person.  This happened when I had a conversation about something I was passionate about and I could keep focused for ten minutes or maybe even half an hour.  During that time, I forgot about ME/CFS.  I stepped out of that label and, for a while, became free of it.  Then, of course, it would end and I would ‘remember’ my situation.

As I grew healthier, I got to the point where half the time, I could actually participate in some normal healthy person activities and relish for a while in forgetting about ME/CFS and its cruelty.  But it would end and I would have to ‘remember’ again.  Straddling both worlds of sick and healthy was not only a physical challenge in terms of pacing, pacing and more pacing.  It was a mental marathon ‘double life’ of moving back and forth between these two identities.  Of learning to appreciate and revel in the times of acting and feeling like a healthy person and then handling the let down of remembering the reality of my situation.  I worked hard at not letting the upside create an even lower downside.  I kept my eyes focused on shifting the percentages – slowly and steadily – to more and more normal health person and less and less sick person.

How do you handle the Double Life of sick and healthy?  What are your strategies?  Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha
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ME/CFS Irony – Mind Over Matter

01/24/2012

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© 2012 TSM
I did a lot of surfing and exploring of the definition of irony before I would even consider using the word.  As many have experienced, there is a current culture of ‘looking down one’s nose’ at the ignorant use of the term irony - Alanis Morissette a prime example of being taken to task by many.  I have decided that I’ll risk it.  Please feel free to chide me if your take is different.

Here’s my perspective.  We live in a culture where people are recognized, honored and even championed when they ignore the physical signals of their bodies and push themselves to the brink of their capacity - to a breaking point in the pursuit of some objective.  It’s lauded as the ultimate achievement of Mind Over Matter.  We see this most dramatically in athletic competitions but it also has a formidable presence in the work place, at home and even in personal leisure pursuits.  Ultimately, we are held up to the ‘You Can Do It All’ standard.  And in a lot of situations, we manage to get away with it for a while.

Then ME/CFS takes up residence.  I don’t think that it’s a coincidence that many ME/CFS sufferers would label themselves as Type A personalities prior to ME/CFS.  And so when we are challenged with something that threatens us to the core of our physical capacity, what’s the instinctual ‘go to’ solution?  Yes – Push Through It.  Mind Over Matter.  And we are shaken when this not only doesn’t work but it makes ME/CFS worse.  Not to mention the opinions expressed by others who observe and conclude that we’re soft, undisciplined, burnt out or just depressed.

So here’s the Dramatic or Tragic Irony.  The solution to personal challenges that has been engrained in us since childhood – Mind Over Matter – is the complete reverse of what is required to get control over ME/CFS and to ultimately recover.  And it is delivered, wrapped in an ugly package of judgment that we’re weak and in some way inferior.  Did I get it right?  Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha
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