I’ve been helping someone clear out a family home which is full of memories – a mixture of good and bad. But mostly the house is weighed down with so much emotion that it feels like the structure itself sags under the burden. Of course I started to think about my struggle with ME/CFS/SEID and the crushing assortment of emotions that I wrestled with.
In the beginning, I was consumed with frustration that I had no answers and anger that I was so quickly dismissed as ‘just depressed’. Then as I fell into the ME/CFS/SEID trap of push/crash cycles I developed self-blame. And as the months then years dragged on with no improvement, I felt guilty about the drain I had become on my family and the lost time that I had stolen from them and from me. Then I added in a good dose of shame. Eventually I had created a toxic soup of emotions which I was drowning in.
Pile all the worry on top of that and I was definitely going under. Talk about emotional baggage! Could I have been any better at bringing myself down? A surgeon couldn’t have succeeded in removing my self-esteem and self-image more precisely. And what about all the energy I drained from my limited reserves just festering over this mountain of emotional baggage?
After I spent a couple of years letting these emotions keep me under, I finally came to the understanding that I was only making my struggle with ME/CFS even harder. It took a great deal of determination to dump the emotional baggage. But once I started to off load, it felt great. I became intentional about my emotions and I packed lightly. How are you dealing with your emotional baggage? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!
Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.
Be Well Again,
Martha
In the beginning, I was consumed with frustration that I had no answers and anger that I was so quickly dismissed as ‘just depressed’. Then as I fell into the ME/CFS/SEID trap of push/crash cycles I developed self-blame. And as the months then years dragged on with no improvement, I felt guilty about the drain I had become on my family and the lost time that I had stolen from them and from me. Then I added in a good dose of shame. Eventually I had created a toxic soup of emotions which I was drowning in.
Pile all the worry on top of that and I was definitely going under. Talk about emotional baggage! Could I have been any better at bringing myself down? A surgeon couldn’t have succeeded in removing my self-esteem and self-image more precisely. And what about all the energy I drained from my limited reserves just festering over this mountain of emotional baggage?
After I spent a couple of years letting these emotions keep me under, I finally came to the understanding that I was only making my struggle with ME/CFS even harder. It took a great deal of determination to dump the emotional baggage. But once I started to off load, it felt great. I became intentional about my emotions and I packed lightly. How are you dealing with your emotional baggage? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!
Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.
Be Well Again,
Martha
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