Category: Pace

ME/CFS Recovery – A Mine Field of Variables

4/10/2018

If everyone who was suffering with ME/CFS were to write down all of the variables that affect them, it would be a long list. Life in general challenges us but add to that all of the knowns and unknowns of ME/CFS and it can be overwhelming. During the time when I was bedridden with ME/CFS, I must admit that for a good number of my waking hours each day, I cranked over that list. I allowed it to feed on the precious little energy that I had and erode my will to get well.

It was when I finally jettisoned the list and began to focus on one or two variables at a time that my health started to improve. Instead of wandering through the entire mine field where it was certain that one of them would blow up, I carved out smaller areas with a limited scope. Usually this would include a shorter timeframe to focus on and only a couple of life’s issues to act on. It didn’t always work but most of the time, it allowed me to intentionally focus the energy I had on things that were realistically within my reach.

How do you keep yourself within a realistic window? What strategies have worked for you? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Rest – Ease and Release

1/30/2018

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I’ve been thinking about what rest is. Some would say it’s the opposite of physical action – inaction. Some would say it’s a state – at rest. I think of it as a combination of stilling the body, the mind and the spirit. Without all three, for me, it isn’t true rest.

When I was struggling with ME/CFS, I spent many long periods of time in bed – supposedly at rest. But for many of those hours I was either completely awake or in a semi asleep state. Although my body was horizontal and only moved occasionally, my mind was grinding - either hung up on one particular worrying thought or bouncing all over the subject map. My mind was definitely not resting.

Then sometimes I could accomplish a period of time when my mind was quiet and my body was still but my spirit was low. My attitude and my outlook were down. So I was still draining my energy allowing it to ooze out of me as I sat in a negative place about my situation.

Ultimately, for me, true rest came when my body was still, my mind was at ease and I released the emotionally heavy weight of my situation so I could lift up into a place of real rest. In those moments when I was able to accomplish true rest, I could replenish my energy and take steps toward regaining my health. How do you rest? What are your strategies? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Holidays – Gift to Yourself

12/12/2017

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It’s thirteen days to go until December 25th and we’re in the midst of many religious and cultural holiday observances. Whatever you celebrate at this time of year, we’re getting to the thick of it and we’re feeling the constraints on time and energy to get it all done. When I was struggling with ME/CFS, this was a critical decision time that determined how my holidays would play out.

Would I choose wisely and slow the pace down so I could feel reasonably well at the height of the holidays or would I keep pushing to the finish line? In my early years of struggling with ME/CFS, it was always the latter. No matter what good intensions I held, invariably I over did and was crashing thru the culmination of our holiday celebrations. It wasn’t until I began to get a taste of feeling better that I understood the importance of stopping the rush of the holidays.

This holiday season, the most important gift you give is the one to yourself. The gift of letting go of most of the Fa La La and napping instead. Watch a favorite movie. Ask a friend to pick up a specific gift item or some groceries while they’re out doing their own shopping. Order online. Linger over a hot cup of afternoon tea. Call your loved ones and let them know that you’re thinking of them and that you’re resting so you’ll be up for the holiday events. The more you give yourself the gift of rest and reasonable pacing, you will actually be giving your family and friends the gift of a stronger and more participatory you during the holidays.

Are you giving yourself the gift of energy for the holidays? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for my next posting after the New Year. And consider being part of the conversation.

Wishing you and your loved ones a Healthy and Blessed Holiday,

In the New Year, Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Choices - The Holiday Bustle

11/28/2017

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Before I was sick with ME/CFS, the holidays were a blur of activities in addition to the normal work and family commitments. A Healthy person struggled to get it all done.

Then I went through four holiday seasons struggling with ME/CFS. For two of them, I was bedridden for most of each day. As is often the norm for ME/CFS sufferers, I was pretty hard on myself. All I could think of were the special holiday things that my kids and family weren’t enjoying because of me. But I couldn’t do anything about it. So those holidays passed with me needlessly feeling down.

Then came a holiday season when I was feeling stronger – not fully well but better. And of course, true to form, I wanted to make up for the ‘lost holidays’. Lessons can be tough to learn. Gratefully, I had people around me and a voice in my own head that said, “Do only what you enjoy and can handle - let the rest go.”

Now that I am fully well, our holidays are still scaled down and we all like it that way. It’s more like a delightful sampling of what the season offers than a forced and frenzied banquet. We don’t do every activity every year. We switch it out. Our gift giving is mostly donations to charities, Yankee Swaps (even with family) and special consumables (wine, soup mixes, teas, etc). We haven’t sent cards in years. I’m thinking I might send an e-card this year. Maybe…

How do you get through this season without straining your energy limits and pushing yourself into relapses? What do you happily forego from the holiday hustle and bustle list? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Pacing – Keeping the Beat

11/14/2017

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I was recently playing drums with a small group of drummers and what started with a base rhythm devolved into a less than pleasant cacophony of noise. If you’ve ever sat in on a drum circle, you know exactly what I mean. To solve this problem, the leader needs to lay down a basic simple beat and hold it. It gives everyone a point of reference to play off of and to return to and it keeps the group cohesive. Experienced drummers already know this and learners usually pick it up when the leader points it out. When you’re struggling with ME/CFS, there’s no leader to set the basic beat.

When a large mother drum is present, several people sit around it and hold down a beat – sometimes it’s a heartbeat. It sounds like an actual heart beating – boom, boom, pause. Boom, boom, pause. Just like the line you’d see scrolling across the screen of a cardiac monitor. Two peaks followed by a flatter line. It’s all about the underlying rhythm - the natural pacemaker.

Unfortunately for ME/CFS patients, it’s a challenge to keep the basic beat – the pace that will consistently get us from day to day without being caught up in a push/crash cycle. It’s a matter of fine tuning. Collect data, make observations, find successful patterns – Repeat. Repeat, Repeat, Pause. Repeat, Repeat, Pause. And eventually Repeat your way back to health.

How do you pace to a basic beat? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Progress – Where’s Your Focus?

10/31/2017

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I recently participated in and IEP meeting – Individualized Education Plan – for a young friend. For part of the time, people talked about her successes. But for most of the meeting, people pointed out her weaknesses and where she needed to improve. And understandably, this is the point of the meeting. But I went away feeling that her accomplishments were impressive based on expectation. And there was no place to honor that progress. Of course it got me thinking about my struggle with ME/CFS and the way I could only focus on my weaknesses for a long time.

My first two years of struggling with ME/CFS were all about my failure to succeed at my life. All I thought about was what I wasn’t doing, who I was letting down and how I wasn’t figuring out what had happened to me. My focus was on what was going wrong and how it was my fault. One huge negative focus. Finally, after a horrendous crash, we decided to change our approach to ME/CFS and at the same time to change our focus. We started to move away from how I was failing and to focus on how I was progressing. The focus became centered on what I did that day and how I built on that the next day. Yes I had setbacks but we focused on the patterns that gave me positive results and repeated them.

So how are you making progress toward wellness? Where’s your focus? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Progress –Review Your Patterns

9/26/2017

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For many, Fall is the gateway through which we return to familiar patterns after the long warm days of summer. Hopefully, we’ve spent some time in the outdoors and had a break or two from the norm. If you’re struggling with ME/CFS, the norm is the inability to function as a healthy person. So the long days of summer may have only served to put an exclamation point on your disability and frustration which could have resulted in a push-relapse cycle…

As we return to normal patterns, it is obviously subjective. What a typical day looks like for one ME/CFS patient, can be completely different for another. But as each patient looks back over the past year, it would be wonderful to see improved health since last Fall and disappointing to feel worse. Which applies to you or those you care for? How do you get on the improved track?

For some, patterns are the key - unique patterns for each patient. Specific to each patient and situation. The key to recognizing patterns is keeping a detailed health log. As resistant as some may be to this idea, it is a focused way to get a handle on your unique version of this wastebasket diagnosis of ME/CFS. A patient’s memory is impaired and often useless for holding the train of thought during a conversation. How could the same person hold a week of patterns in his/her head? And then have the recall to see progress over a year?

If you are a patient and you are not keeping a daily health record, start today. Start right now. Get a pad of paper, a spiral notebook, the back of an envelope – just start writing down a brief summary of your day. If you have been keeping a record, what seems to be the most valuable information in your record? What is missing and would help to know? Please COMMENT or send in your thoughts and I’ll post them. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

2 Comments

ME/CFS/SEID Colored Glasses

7/18/2017

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When you are struggling with ME/CFS/SEID, it’s hard to see anything else. ME/CFS/SEID controls your energy, your schedule, your choices, your physical comfort, your day, your night and your outlook. Everything you consider can be interpreted through your ME/CFS/SEID colored glasses with a dose of brain fog.

For someone with ME/CFS/SEID, it’s a necessity. It’s a survival mechanism. It’s reality. And fighting this reality is fruitless. Just more squandered energy and risked relapses.

Remembering that we have restrictions eventually becomes second nature. And as much as it totally stinks, it can develop into the way forward. Acceptance of this second nature or inner ME/CFS/SEID voice can bring rewards. Better choices. Better days. Beginning to experience better weeks.

For me personally, it took several knock down relapses before I understood this dreaded voice. Some days I wanted to throttle it. The message was one that I didn’t want to hear. But slowly, eventually, I began to listen. Do you listen to the cautionary messages of your inner voice? Are you learning to pace yourself better and avoid severe relapses? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS/SEID Recovery – It Takes Some Dedicated Time

7/11/2017

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Every once in a while, I drag out my soap box…. Here I go….

I frequently receive emails from people who have been struggling with ME/CFS/SEID for way too long. This is such a cruel disease. And I know that everyone’s situation is different with demands and responsibilities. But recovery from ME/CFS/SEID, at least for me, came at a price. A very high price. I literally gave up two years of my life in order to recover. And, as you already know, I hated every minute of it up until I started to taste how it used to feel to be well. And when I got that taste, I had hope that I could recover. Full disclose: I had to repeat that ‘first taste’ experience three times before I fully understood what I needed to do next which was nothing.

I needed to stick with the protocol and rest. I needed to stay right where I was and continue to do all the self-care that had gotten me that far. And that’s when I truly began to hate the protocol. As I felt better and better, I continued with the restrictive protocol. Ad nauseam.

So here are my questions to you. How long have you been struggling with ME/CFS/SEID? What quality of life are you living? How much time would two years be compared with all the years you’ve already been struggling? What would you lose? Could you dedicate One year to only being a Patient? I know. It’s a very high price. This is a cruel disease. Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

2 Comments

ME/CFS/SEID Selectivity – A Time to be Picky

6/27/2017

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I recently took a fresh look around my home and saw a lot of stuff. Much of it felt like clutter. And then there were the boxes. Although I think that we have divested of a lot of material things, we have boxes - in the basement, in the garage, in the closets. I know what’s in some of them but honestly, whatever is in the rest, I clearly don’t need. So of course it reminded me of my struggle with ME/CFS/SEID and how much I was ‘doing’ that wasn’t fruitful personally – things that seemed important at the time but were really just fillers and ‘invented’ priorities by a Type A personality. I needed to let go of activities in my life that I could no longer handle – at least while I was healing.

At the time, I couldn’t image life without some of those activities and I allowed their loss to depress me. For a while, I valued them more than my health. But in time, as I focused on getting well, I let them all go. When I began to see solid improvement, I had the first real opportunity to add one thing back into my recovery plan. What would I chose? What had I missed most that would fit in with my improving energy levels without compromising my progress?

Now, as I look around my home and make choices about what to keep, it’s like clearing everything off the kitchen counter and then making intentional decisions about what to prioritize and put back. And as I experienced back then, I liked the selectivity of what to include in my life. I finally began to see that I needed to be selective - It was definitely a time to be picky. What picky choices are you making? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

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<<Previous

ME/CFS Recovery – A Mine Field of Variables

ME/CFS Rest – Ease and Release

ME/CFS Holidays – Gift to Yourself

ME/CFS Choices - The Holiday Bustle

ME/CFS Pacing – Keeping the Beat

ME/CFS Progress – Where’s Your Focus?

ME/CFS Progress –Review Your Patterns

ME/CFS/SEID Colored Glasses

ME/CFS/SEID Recovery – It Takes Some Dedicated Time

ME/CFS/SEID Selectivity – A Time to be Picky

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