...DEFEAT Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: ...............................................................You don't have to live with it
  • Home
  • About
    • This Site
    • Martha
  • Participate
  • Contact
    • Contact Form
    • Submissions
  • Links
  • Book
  • Further Lessons
  • Thanks

ME/CFS Work – Dedicated Focus

7/31/2012

2 Comments

 
Picture
© 2012 TSM
I just returned from a long weekend in the Portland Oregon area where I attended my nieces’ wedding.  The setting was a beautiful vineyard outside of McMinnville – the informal capital of their Pinot Noir region.  The perfect rows of grape vines which stretched up the hillsides to the horizon and the carefully designed processing and aging facility, spoke to many years of dedication to the ultimate goal – the production of a fine wine.  And the tender and heartfelt vows spoken by the bride and groom as they stood on the sun drenched hillside were evidence of the years they had already dedicated to their successful partnership with many more to come.  As I witnessed all of this, I felt gratitude for my health and was reminded of the dedicated focus it required to get well.

A successful wine, a solid marriage and a return to full health all require work.  And the work must be done to the exclusion, at times, of all the other distractions of life.  The goals which are the hardest to achieve require the most focus and ultimately the sacrifice of other pursuits.  However, the rewards are also the greatest and most fulfilling.  A person often gives up years of other possibilities in order to harvest one great goal.

I gave up two years to my dedication to be well again - to the exclusion of everything else.  I am grateful that I had the support to be able to do that.  Are you able to prioritize recovery as the focus of your days?  How do you juggle things and still keep focused on your wellness goal?  Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha

2 Comments

ME/CFS Attitude – The Law of Attraction

7/24/2012

2 Comments

 
Picture
I was feeling down recently - kind of an internal implosion resulting from too many people and things weighing on me culminating with feeling sorry for myself.  For a period of time I allowed myself to be in that place.  And that was OK because sometimes we need to feel emotions in order to decide what to do about them.  And it gave me a small taste of my lowest points when I was struggling with ME/CFS.

I am however, at my innermost core, an optimist and that part of me eventually asserted itself and demanded that I move on.  I was reminded of the Law of Attraction and the theory that by focusing on either positive or negative thoughts, we attract the same energy or results.  The most documented example of this is the placebo effect which produces positive health results in blind medical trials where the patient is only given a simple sugar pill.  Patients are able to think themselves better. I was not aware that there is an equally well documented nocebo effect which produces negative health results in clinical trials where a placebo is used.  People who fear medication or who have a negative medical image can actually cause deterioration in their own health.  Powerful stuff.

For me that’s a strong statement about how much control we actually DO have in dealing with ME/CFS.  Once I turned the corner away from blame, denial and anger, and moved forward into solving my ME/CFS puzzle as a case study of one, I began to slowly get better.  And yes, I was actively managing my health every day and it was no accident that the daily scrutiny finally resulted in my return to health.  But my positive attitude directed at my determination to figure out my version of this cruel disease, was a huge factor in succeeding despite the long haul.  How do you manage your daily attitude in order to attract positive healing?  What strategies work for you?  Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha

2 Comments

ME/CFS Blog – One Year

7/17/2012

6 Comments

 
Picture
A few days ago I had the pleasure of touring a public garden which featured several long beds filled with mixed annuals and perennials in bountiful bloom – Bright Red Dahlias, Orange Tiger Lilies, Shocking Blue Larkspur, Butter Yellow Primrose, Fluffy Pink Astilbes, Pure White Daisies, and on and on - A feast for a gardener’s eyes.  I found a semi-hidden place to sit in the shade and just soaked in the beauty and serenity of the garden.  I started to think about the care and dedication that such a display would require and on cue, a woman wearing a straw, broad brimmed hat moved into view.  She snipped among the flowers with a pair of clippers in her right hand and sprayed a fine mist from a small bottle in her left.  She moved with practiced ease and accuracy.  And of course I began to think about my struggle with ME/CFS and how dedicated I had to be in order to be well again.

Like the flower gardener, it required a time line of seasons which added up to years in order to get well.  For me, there was no quick fix.  No magic
 
medication.  No silver bullet.  It required constant, daily care and seemingly endless repetition.

Later I found out that she was the head gardener of three.  Of course, she couldn’t do it all alone - so familiar – none of us can.

This blog marks one year since I started last summer.  And I want to thank everyone who has participated and contributed to the conversation either on-line or via e-mail.  It takes dedication to the long haul to get well and I’m dedicated to staying the course with you just like my supporters stuck with me during my long return to health.  Do you have the focus to be the gardener of your own return to health?  Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha

6 Comments

ME/CFS Invisibility – You Are Not Crazy

7/10/2012

2 Comments

 
Picture
I was standing at a deli counter waiting to order over the holidays and there were no numbers to take.  So I tried to politely keep track of whose turn it was to be served.  Predictably, a few of the people just didn’t want to see me.  And of course, it reminded me of how invisible I was when I was struggling with ME/CFS.

Most of us have suffered not only with the frustration and illness of ME/CFS but with the non recognition of this disease by the medical community and the people around us.  According to them, we don't look that sick and we don't test sick so we aren't physically sick...  And when we’re treated that way, we tend to withdraw.  Combine that with the physical and mental disability of ME/CFS and it’s a combination that leaves us isolated and ultimately invisible.

And in that isolation, we begin to question our own mental capacity.  Do not listen to those negative, degrading messages!  You are not alone in this and you are not crazy!  Many people are in this ME/CFS boat struggling to be seen and to be well again.

For me, I was able to find a few people who would listen and help.  It made me feel visible again.  How do you deal with the invisibility of ME/CFS?  What works for you?  Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha

2 Comments

ME/CFS Solitary Struggles – Asking For Help

7/3/2012

2 Comments

 
Picture
Recently I was trying to juggle several things that really required two pairs of hands.  Of course I wrestled with it for a while before I admitted that I needed help.  And it reminded me of all the time I spent struggling with ME/CFS in solitude.  Some of it was pride – the type A ‘I can do it all’ scenario.  Some of it was reluctance – not knowing if I would get a supportive response.  And some of it was not wanting to share all the painful, frustrating details of ME/CFS.  We tend to be private people and revealing ourselves can make us feel vulnerable and exposed.

 For me, I finally had to admit that I needed help as I struggled with ME/CFS.  And that required not only a willing and compassionate helper, but it also required that I get off my ‘I can do it’ pedestal and be willing to reveal a Martha who was not in control and on top of things.  I needed to be ready to show weakness and not be ashamed or feel belittled.  It’s a huge step for some of us.

But I couldn’t avoid the reality that I needed help.  So I had to accept the need to reveal myself – and all my blemishes – and get up my courage to ask for help.  It resulted in some half hearted maybes which never materialized, several uncomfortable nos, and blessedly a few compassionate yeses.  And that was all I needed.

Do you have trouble asking for help?  How do you set aside your pride and privacy in order to get help?  Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again and Happy July 4th!

Martha

2 Comments
    Picture
    Hello,  I'm
    Martha Kilcoyne

    Welcome
     to our Community!

    After struggling with CFS for four years I am fortunate now to be fully well and making choices about how I want to live my healthy life.  One choice is to be an active part of the CFS community and to offer one voice from the fully recoverd to the dialogue.  I'm glad you're here!   For more about me, here's my Bio.

      Join Our Community
      Enter your email address to
      follow this blog.

    Join

    For Books, Supplements, Sleep aids and more

    Picture

    Archives

    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011

    Categories

    All
    Appreciation
    Attitude
    Being Positive
    Brain Fog
    Choices
    Community
    Connect
    Coping
    Data
    Diagnosis
    Doctor
    Emotions
    Energy
    First
    Food
    Funding
    Genetics
    Goals
    Gratitude
    Groups
    Guest Blog
    Gut Feelings
    Health
    Helping
    Holidays
    Hope
    Humor
    Immune Support
    Inner Voice
    Ion Channelopathy
    Irony
    Isolation
    Journal
    Log
    Mantra
    Memory
    Mind
    Negativity
    Nutrition
    Opinions
    Organizations
    Outlook
    Pace
    Participate
    Patience
    Patterns
    Personality
    Perspective
    Protocol
    Provider
    Pushing Too Hard
    Pushing Too Hard
    Record
    Recovery
    Relapses
    Research
    Resolutions
    Rest
    Sleep Depravation
    Step By Step
    Step By Step
    Strategies
    Supplements
    Support
    Take Control
    Take Control
    Thankfulness
    Vacation
    Variables
    Version

    RSS Feed

    Picture
    Copyright © 2011-2012
    Triple Spiral MEDIA LLC