Blog Archives

ME/CFS Work – Dedicated Focus

7/31/2012

I just returned from a long weekend in the Portland Oregon area where I attended my nieces’ wedding. The setting was a beautiful vineyard outside of McMinnville – the informal capital of their Pinot Noir region. The perfect rows of grape vines which stretched up the hillsides to the horizon and the carefully designed processing and aging facility, spoke to many years of dedication to the ultimate goal – the production of a fine wine. And the tender and heartfelt vows spoken by the bride and groom as they stood on the sun drenched hillside were evidence of the years they had already dedicated to their successful partnership with many more to come. As I witnessed all of this, I felt gratitude for my health and was reminded of the dedicated focus it required to get well.

A successful wine, a solid marriage and a return to full health all require work. And the work must be done to the exclusion, at times, of all the other distractions of life. The goals which are the hardest to achieve require the most focus and ultimately the sacrifice of other pursuits. However, the rewards are also the greatest and most fulfilling. A person often gives up years of other possibilities in order to harvest one great goal.

I gave up two years to my dedication to be well again - to the exclusion of everything else. I am grateful that I had the support to be able to do that. Are you able to prioritize recovery as the focus of your days? How do you juggle things and still keep focused on your wellness goal? Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha

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ME/CFS Attitude – The Law of Attraction

7/24/2012

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I was feeling down recently - kind of an internal implosion resulting from too many people and things weighing on me culminating with feeling sorry for myself. For a period of time I allowed myself to be in that place. And that was OK because sometimes we need to feel emotions in order to decide what to do about them. And it gave me a small taste of my lowest points when I was struggling with ME/CFS.

I am however, at my innermost core, an optimist and that part of me eventually asserted itself and demanded that I move on. I was reminded of the Law of Attraction and the theory that by focusing on either positive or negative thoughts, we attract the same energy or results. The most documented example of this is the placebo effect which produces positive health results in blind medical trials where the patient is only given a simple sugar pill. Patients are able to think themselves better. I was not aware that there is an equally well documented nocebo effect which produces negative health results in clinical trials where a placebo is used. People who fear medication or who have a negative medical image can actually cause deterioration in their own health. Powerful stuff.

For me that’s a strong statement about how much control we actually DO have in dealing with ME/CFS. Once I turned the corner away from blame, denial and anger, and moved forward into solving my ME/CFS puzzle as a case study of one, I began to slowly get better. And yes, I was actively managing my health every day and it was no accident that the daily scrutiny finally resulted in my return to health. But my positive attitude directed at my determination to figure out my version of this cruel disease, was a huge factor in succeeding despite the long haul. How do you manage your daily attitude in order to attract positive healing? What strategies work for you? Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha

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ME/CFS Blog – One Year

7/17/2012

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A few days ago I had the pleasure of touring a public garden which featured several long beds filled with mixed annuals and perennials in bountiful bloom – Bright Red Dahlias, Orange Tiger Lilies, Shocking Blue Larkspur, Butter Yellow Primrose, Fluffy Pink Astilbes, Pure White Daisies, and on and on - A feast for a gardener’s eyes. I found a semi-hidden place to sit in the shade and just soaked in the beauty and serenity of the garden. I started to think about the care and dedication that such a display would require and on cue, a woman wearing a straw, broad brimmed hat moved into view. She snipped among the flowers with a pair of clippers in her right hand and sprayed a fine mist from a small bottle in her left. She moved with practiced ease and accuracy. And of course I began to think about my struggle with ME/CFS and how dedicated I had to be in order to be well again.

Like the flower gardener, it required a time line of seasons which added up to years in order to get well. For me, there was no quick fix. No magic

medication. No silver bullet. It required constant, daily care and seemingly endless repetition.

Later I found out that she was the head gardener of three. Of course, she couldn’t do it all alone - so familiar – none of us can.

This blog marks one year since I started last summer. And I want to thank everyone who has participated and contributed to the conversation either on-line or via e-mail. It takes dedication to the long haul to get well and I’m dedicated to staying the course with you just like my supporters stuck with me during my long return to health. Do you have the focus to be the gardener of your own return to health? Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha

6 Comments

ME/CFS Invisibility – You Are Not Crazy

7/10/2012

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I was standing at a deli counter waiting to order over the holidays and there were no numbers to take. So I tried to politely keep track of whose turn it was to be served. Predictably, a few of the people just didn’t want to see me. And of course, it reminded me of how invisible I was when I was struggling with ME/CFS.

Most of us have suffered not only with the frustration and illness of ME/CFS but with the non recognition of this disease by the medical community and the people around us. According to them, we don't look that sick and we don't test sick so we aren't physically sick... And when we’re treated that way, we tend to withdraw. Combine that with the physical and mental disability of ME/CFS and it’s a combination that leaves us isolated and ultimately invisible.

And in that isolation, we begin to question our own mental capacity. Do not listen to those negative, degrading messages! You are not alone in this and you are not crazy! Many people are in this ME/CFS boat struggling to be seen and to be well again.

For me, I was able to find a few people who would listen and help. It made me feel visible again. How do you deal with the invisibility of ME/CFS? What works for you? Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha

2 Comments

ME/CFS Solitary Struggles – Asking For Help

7/3/2012

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Recently I was trying to juggle several things that really required two pairs of hands. Of course I wrestled with it for a while before I admitted that I needed help. And it reminded me of all the time I spent struggling with ME/CFS in solitude. Some of it was pride – the type A ‘I can do it all’ scenario. Some of it was reluctance – not knowing if I would get a supportive response. And some of it was not wanting to share all the painful, frustrating details of ME/CFS. We tend to be private people and revealing ourselves can make us feel vulnerable and exposed.

For me, I finally had to admit that I needed help as I struggled with ME/CFS. And that required not only a willing and compassionate helper, but it also required that I get off my ‘I can do it’ pedestal and be willing to reveal a Martha who was not in control and on top of things. I needed to be ready to show weakness and not be ashamed or feel belittled. It’s a huge step for some of us.

But I couldn’t avoid the reality that I needed help. So I had to accept the need to reveal myself – and all my blemishes – and get up my courage to ask for help. It resulted in some half hearted maybes which never materialized, several uncomfortable nos, and blessedly a few compassionate yeses. And that was all I needed.

Do you have trouble asking for help? How do you set aside your pride and privacy in order to get help? Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again and Happy July 4th!

Martha

2 Comments

ME/CFS Work – Dedicated Focus

ME/CFS Attitude – The Law of Attraction

ME/CFS Blog – One Year

ME/CFS Invisibility – You Are Not Crazy

ME/CFS Solitary Struggles – Asking For Help

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ME/CFS Work – Dedicated Focus

ME/CFS Attitude – The Law of Attraction

ME/CFS Blog – One Year

ME/CFS Invisibility – You Are Not Crazy

ME/CFS Solitary Struggles – Asking For Help

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