Category: Strategies

ME/CFS Progress –Review Your Patterns

10/6/2020

For many, Fall is the gateway through which we return to familiar patterns after the long warm days of summer. Hopefully, we’ve spent some time in the outdoors and had a break or two from the norm. If you’re struggling with ME/CFS, the norm is the inability to function as a healthy person. So, the long days of summer may have only served to put an exclamation point on your disability and frustration which could have resulted in a push-relapse cycle…

As we return to normal patterns, it is obviously subjective. What a typical day looks like for one ME/CFS patient, can be completely different for another. But as each patient looks back over the past year, it would be wonderful to see improved health since last Fall and disappointing to feel worse. Which applies to you or those you care for? How do you get on the improved track?

For some, patterns are the key - unique patterns for each patient. Specific to each patient and situation. The key to recognizing patterns is keeping a detailed health log. As resistant as some may be to this idea, it is a focused way to get a handle on your unique version of this wastebasket diagnosis of ME/CFS. A patient’s memory is impaired and often useless for holding the train of thought during a conversation. How could the same person hold a week of patterns in his/her head? And then have the recall to see progress over a year?

If you are a patient and you are not keeping a daily health record, start today. Start right now. Get a pad of paper, a spiral notebook, the back of an envelope – just start writing down a brief summary of your day. If you have been keeping a record, what seems to be the most valuable information in your record? What is missing and would help to know? Please COMMENT or send in your thoughts and I’ll post them. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.
Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Attitude – What Others Say

9/22/2020

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When you’re struggling with ME/CFS, it can be a daily challenge to keep your own negative attitudes in check. It’s all too easy to fall into the trap of wasting precious energy grinding about the things you can’t do, the thoughts you can’t keep straight and the important people in your life for whom you can’t be present.

It becomes even more challenging when you have to deal with the negative attitudes and insensitive comments of others. One group says ‘you look OK to me’. Then there are the ‘doubters’ who look at you as if you’re either physically lazy or mentally weak. And then you face the curious crowd who seem interested in your illness only to the extent that they want to tell you about themselves or their sick friend. It’s hard to know what to say without being irritated (only to confirm their assessment of your mental weakness) or rude which can alienate people whom you otherwise value in your life.

Fortunately for most, there are a few steadfast supporters, family members or friends, who get it and want to support your path back to health in whatever way they can. And even these caring people can say the most insensitive things at times. When I heard these comments, I donned my writer’s thick skin which I acquired as the result of many tough critiques.

What do you say when people make insensitive comments? Do you react at all? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.
Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Transitions – Progress to Being Proactive

3/17/2020

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Three years ago we took in an abandoned Maine Coon cat so she could be transitioned to a new home. Her prior life was with an elderly woman who dotted on her and made her quite comfortable. Then, her owner became ill and was in hospital care for a month. During that time, the cat lived alone in the house and a neighbor came in to feed her. She had always been a reclusive cat who disliked strangers so the month was traumatic. Her owner wasn’t able to return to her own home so we ‘captured’ the freaked out cat and deposited her on our heated porch. Needless to say this transition had been hard. Watching her struggle reminded me of myself when I was first diagnosed with ME/CFS.

Being ripped out my normal life and dropped into the wastebasket of ME/CFS was horrifying. I hated it. I railed against it. I expended a lot of energy being angry with my situation and the medical establishment. The cat on our porch did the exact same thing. She was clearly pissed off. When she wasn’t eating or sleeping, she hissed and growled at everyone except me. She even swatted if the wrong person got too close. She clearly wanted affection and purred loudly when I pet her but she was confused and mad. Who wouldn’t be?

She wanted her old life back just like I did. But the path for her to find a new home was not to go back the way she came. And so it was with me. I had to progress forward to find a new path in order to regain my health. I had to progress to being proactive – to taking responsibility for my recovery and to stop wasting energy on the blame game. The cat on our porch didn’t have the tool of reasoning. I couldn’t sit down with her and explain that she was just in transition and that we were looking for a permanent home for her – a new place that would be warm and loving and much like her old home. In the end, we did find her a new home and a new elderly woman who dotted on her.

Before I accepted my struggle with ME/CFS, I was in that same transitional place. If you’re still there, It’s time to progress forward into taking proactive control of your illness and your path back to wellness. Are you out of transition? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.
Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Halt – When we had other plans

3/3/2020

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Recently we were driving along with a schedule for the day. Then bang. We had a tire blow out. We were able to safely get to the side of road but that one event shot holes in the plan for the day. As we began to assess the condition of our spare tire and whether all the parts of the jack were in the truck, I was reminded of how ME/CFS suddenly forced me to change my plans.

There I was, tooling along with my life plan and then suddenly – bang – I was so ill that I was bedridden. And after going through the seemingly endless screening process, I was diagnosed with ME/CFS. Not great news.

Back on the side of the road, we thought we had everything to change the tire and started in. Then we realized that the jack crank was missing. Great – that meant that we had to raise up the car one half turn at a time. As I knelt by the car, inserting the lug wrench, turning a half turn, removing the lug wrench, moving it back to the other side, then reinserting and turning a half turn – over and over and over – I kept thinking about how ME/CFS required me to invent tools to get well because the normal methods didn’t work. And getting well was agonizingly slow. And repetitive. And repetitive. And really repetitive.

So having that flat tire abruptly changed my plans and it took more time than it should have because we didn’t have the right tools. And getting ME/CFS abruptly changed my life plans and it took more time to get well from ME/CFS because we needed to invent the right tools. What tools are you inventing? What tools are you learning from others? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for postings on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.
Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Choices - The Holiday Bustle

12/10/2019

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Before I was sick with ME/CFS, the holidays were a blur of activities in addition to the normal work and family commitments. A Healthy person struggled to get it all done.

Then I went through four holiday seasons struggling with ME/CFS. For two of them, I was bedridden for most of each day. As is often the norm for ME/CFS sufferers, I was pretty hard on myself. All I could think of were the special holiday things that my kids and family weren’t enjoying because of me. But I couldn’t do anything about it. So those holidays passed with me needlessly feeling down.

Then came a holiday season when I was feeling stronger – not fully well but better. And of course, true to form, I wanted to make up for the ‘lost holidays’. Lessons can be tough to learn. Gratefully, I had people around me and a voice in my own head that said, “Do only what you enjoy and can handle - let the rest go.”

Now that I am fully well, our holidays are still scaled down and we all like it that way. It’s more like a delightful sampling of what the season offers than a forced and frenzied banquet. We don’t do every activity every year. We switch it out. Our gift giving is mostly donations to charities, Yankee Swaps (even with family) and special consumables (wine, soup mixes, teas, etc). We haven’t sent cards in years. I’m thinking I might send an e-card this year. Maybe…

How do you get through this season without straining your energy limits and pushing yourself into relapses? What do you happily forego from the holiday hustle and bustle list? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Supplements – One Combination Doesn’t Fit All

5/14/2019

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I’ve started taking supplements to fill in some gaps in my nutrition and this got me thinking about common practice today in the use of supplements for ME/CFS treatment.

Most providers who see ME/CFS patients recommend a regimen of supplements. They can include pills, IV, shots and ‘cocktails’. Patients report a range of results with these methods from revitalizing to ‘maybe it helped.’ If you’re seeing a practitioner who has recommended such treatments, be sure that the ratios and combinations of supplements are based on your metabolism. There are tests and blood chemistries that can be run to get an accurate picture of you and your needs for treatment. Many of these treatments can be expensive and it can be a sacrifice to pay for them. If you’re not feeling measurable improvement, revisit your doses and combinations with your doctor.

From my own experience, the first doctor who actually treated me for ME/CFS, relied on his prior experience with ‘patients like me’ and prescribed a similar plan. Although this first step got me to a healthier plateau, it wasn’t until we figured out, through trial and error, what I specifically needed for supplements that I was able to get on the right road to recovery. Are you taking supplements as part of your recovery plan? What do you think of their efficacy? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.
Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Holidays – Gift to Yourself

12/18/2018

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It’s seven days to go until December 25th and we’re in the midst of many religious and cultural holiday observances. Whatever you celebrate at this time of year, we’re getting to the thick of it and we’re feeling the constraints on time and energy to get it all done. When I was struggling with ME/CFS, this was a critical decision time that determined how my holidays would play out.

Would I choose wisely and slow the pace down so I could feel reasonably well at the height of the holidays or would I keep pushing to the finish line? In my early years of struggling with ME/CFS, it was always the latter. No matter what good intensions I held, invariably I over did and was crashing thru the culmination of our holiday celebrations. It wasn’t until I began to get a taste of feeling better that I understood the importance of stopping the rush of the holidays.

This holiday season, the most important gift you give is the one to yourself. The gift of letting go of most of the Fa La La and napping instead. Watch a favorite movie. Ask a friend to pick up a specific gift item or some groceries while they’re out doing their own shopping. Order online. Linger over a hot cup of afternoon tea. Call your loved ones and let them know that you’re thinking of them and that you’re resting so you’ll be up for the holiday events. The more you give yourself the gift of rest and reasonable pacing, you will actually be giving your family and friends the gift of a stronger and more participatory you during the holidays.

Are you giving yourself the gift of energy for the holidays? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for my next posting after the New Year. And consider being part of the conversation.

Wishing you and your loved ones a Healthy and Blessed Holiday,

In the New Year, Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Feeling Empty – Sleep Deprivation

10/30/2018

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I haven’t been sleeping well lately. There’s a lot going on and I’m caught up in too much brain activity. After several restless nights, of course I began to think about ME/CFS.

I remember when the exhaustion was so pervasive. I had a mental flashback to the lowest days of my ME/CFS years when even holding a glass of water was beyond my strength and the brain fog was so thick that I couldn’t remember my thoughts for more then a moment or two. It was long days of running on total empty.

It wasn’t until I understood the role that sleep deprivation was playing in my struggle with ME/CFS that I began to improve. We dissected everything about my nights in order to improve my sleep – Comfort, light, sound, timing and medication. We tweaked and tweaked. When we finally got it right, I was getting about 6 hours of solid, uninterrupted sleep every night.

So yesterday I tweaked a few things in my current sleep environment and I finally slept for 7 hours last night. Even my active brain couldn’t keep my body from finally getting some needed rest. This morning I felt a little more energy and gratitude for the hard earned lessons of my past.

What’s the status of your sleep patterns and environment? What needs tweaking? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Gifts – Pace Yourself

10/16/2018

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I’ve been thinking a lot about pacing - for myself, for my family, for the seemingly swirling world around me. Are we goal driven or just driven? Are we actually going anywhere? Do we arrive? Are we missing the whole point of the journey itself by never slowing down? When I was struggling with ME/CFS, I was forced to slow down. For a time, I was forced to completely stop.

It wasn’t until I began to recover, slowly but surely, that I also began to understand the ‘gift’ of being forced to slow down. Not that I recommend ME/CFS as a good path to gaining perspective on pacing your life but it was how I got the message. Making choices and pacing have become part of my new way of being. I do smell the roses now.

If you worry about what you’re missing as you struggle with ME/CFS, this quote will make you smile.

"Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you.” John De Paola

It reminds me of a Saturday morning cartoon where a dog is chasing a cat around in a circle. The cat steps off to the side and just watches the dog who continues to run around the circle. I can remember the road runner doing this to wile e coyote too.

Although ME/CFS is not the preferred method for receiving the ‘gift’ of pacing, it is the way we’ve received it. Open it up and appreciate the message. How are you pacing? What are your strategies? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Reality – Commit to Being A Patient

10/2/2018

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I recently received an e-mail from a someone who has been struggling with ME/CFS for several years. Like many of us, he has been given the ‘go home and have hope speech’, has gone to the high-priced medical clinic to no avail, and has been treated by compassionate practitioners who haven’t been able to help him either.

Now, he’s as sick as he was at the beginning. Square One. SO Frustrating. And SUCH a familiar story. So many of us have gone this route of exploring every path we can think of knowing that we have a real physical illness. And only making small inroads. Glimmers of hope that eventually fade. And often, we find ourselves back at Square One.

If you’ve read my book, you know that when I got back to square one that was when we decided to turn me into a lab rat. I literally spent a year in bed on a fixed schedule no matter how I was feeling. I allowed myself to increase my activity - in very small increments - only when I had a solid period of time without any problems. This was in many ways torture for a type A like me. But I stuck to the plan because everything else had failed. I stopped looking for the miracle and focused on unraveling the clues to my own version of ME/CFS.

The biggest obstacle I had was allowing me to be sick. To be a patient. To commit to giving up functioning for a while in order to get a normal life back down the road. And I think I needed to waste all the other time on those other paths. It drove home the point that I wasn't getting anywhere going at this half heartedly. Those were wasted years anyway so what was one more year if it paid off? I know that this is not an option for many people because of responsibilities. But somehow, it’s important to relinquish our need to find the ‘silver bullet’ and get focused on figuring out how to get well.

How do you deal with the struggle between getting well again and also having a life? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

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<<Previous

ME/CFS Progress –Review Your Patterns

ME/CFS Attitude – What Others Say

ME/CFS Transitions – Progress to Being Proactive

ME/CFS Halt – When we had other plans

ME/CFS Choices - The Holiday Bustle

ME/CFS Supplements – One Combination Doesn’t Fit All

ME/CFS Holidays – Gift to Yourself

ME/CFS Feeling Empty – Sleep Deprivation

ME/CFS Gifts – Pace Yourself

ME/CFS Reality – Commit to Being A Patient

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