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ME/CFS Choices - The Holiday Bustle

11/28/2017

Before I was sick with ME/CFS, the holidays were a blur of activities in addition to the normal work and family commitments. A Healthy person struggled to get it all done.

Then I went through four holiday seasons struggling with ME/CFS. For two of them, I was bedridden for most of each day. As is often the norm for ME/CFS sufferers, I was pretty hard on myself. All I could think of were the special holiday things that my kids and family weren’t enjoying because of me. But I couldn’t do anything about it. So those holidays passed with me needlessly feeling down.

Then came a holiday season when I was feeling stronger – not fully well but better. And of course, true to form, I wanted to make up for the ‘lost holidays’. Lessons can be tough to learn. Gratefully, I had people around me and a voice in my own head that said, “Do only what you enjoy and can handle - let the rest go.”

Now that I am fully well, our holidays are still scaled down and we all like it that way. It’s more like a delightful sampling of what the season offers than a forced and frenzied banquet. We don’t do every activity every year. We switch it out. Our gift giving is mostly donations to charities, Yankee Swaps (even with family) and special consumables (wine, soup mixes, teas, etc). We haven’t sent cards in years. I’m thinking I might send an e-card this year. Maybe…

How do you get through this season without straining your energy limits and pushing yourself into relapses? What do you happily forego from the holiday hustle and bustle list? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Attitude – Find Thankfulness

11/21/2017

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When I sat down to blog about Thanksgiving, I looked at what I had written last year. I can’t do a better job of expressing how I feel about this holiday and struggling with ME/CFS at the same time. So here it is again:

Thanksgiving traditionally generates clichés about thankfulness. The mantra basically goes like this: Be thankful for what you DO have, not what is missing. Most of us would agree with this outlook. It is better to focus on the positive. But it isn’t easy to do especially when you’ve been struggling with ME/CFS for a year or for 20 years.

When I was sick, I would allow myself to indulge in some self pity around this time of year but I knew that was totally unproductive and a waste of what little energy I had. I would then get irritated with myself for my self-centered attitude and so just added more negativity to my load. But it can be unfair to expect a person who is struggling with a body that can’t handle normal activity to be upbeat, positive and ultimately thankful.

So as the rest of the world around me went about their daily routines, I would look at my life and try to find something to be thankful for. Mostly, I focused on the few people around me who understood what I was going through and supported me in large and small ways. I made a point to tell them how much I appreciated what they did.

And after I let go of the negativity toward myself, I realized that I needed to appreciate the work I did all year long. The work of getting well again. Sticking to the snails pace recovery, following the protocol when I didn’t want to and being present in my life in whatever way I could realistically handle.

Are you finding things to be thankful for? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

And for you and all of your loved ones,
I wish you a warm and Bountiful Thanksgiving,
Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Pacing – Keeping the Beat

11/14/2017

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I was recently playing drums with a small group of drummers and what started with a base rhythm devolved into a less than pleasant cacophony of noise. If you’ve ever sat in on a drum circle, you know exactly what I mean. To solve this problem, the leader needs to lay down a basic simple beat and hold it. It gives everyone a point of reference to play off of and to return to and it keeps the group cohesive. Experienced drummers already know this and learners usually pick it up when the leader points it out. When you’re struggling with ME/CFS, there’s no leader to set the basic beat.

When a large mother drum is present, several people sit around it and hold down a beat – sometimes it’s a heartbeat. It sounds like an actual heart beating – boom, boom, pause. Boom, boom, pause. Just like the line you’d see scrolling across the screen of a cardiac monitor. Two peaks followed by a flatter line. It’s all about the underlying rhythm - the natural pacemaker.

Unfortunately for ME/CFS patients, it’s a challenge to keep the basic beat – the pace that will consistently get us from day to day without being caught up in a push/crash cycle. It’s a matter of fine tuning. Collect data, make observations, find successful patterns – Repeat. Repeat, Repeat, Pause. Repeat, Repeat, Pause. And eventually Repeat your way back to health.

How do you pace to a basic beat? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

2 Comments

ME/CFS Energy – Intentional Use

11/7/2017

3 Comments

I’ve been doing some reflection of late on my priorities as I move into the second half of my life – OK I’m planning on becoming a centenarian but in the real actuarial world I’m way past the halfway mark. So I’m an optimist. There are worse things.

As I look forward, I’m trying to be intentional about what I focus on and how I spend my time. I frequently think about the Annie Dillard quote, ‘How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.’ When I was struggling with ME/CFS and finally on the right path to unraveling the clues to my own version of ME/CFS, I constantly thought about conserving my energy. Nowadays, in the ME/CFS community, we frequently talk about the energy envelope and how to carefully protect and nurture our energy progress.

What I think we miss in that approach is the opportunity to look forward and make intentional choices about how we will thoughtfully expend what energy we DO have. And not to empty it out. But to be aware of the choices we are making about how we spend our precious energy reserves and how that fits in with our longer term goals unrelated to our being in the midst of struggling with a cruel disease.

I realize that looking beyond the near future is tough for an ME/CFS patient but I think that it can add value and resolve to the work of getting back to health. Do you think about how you’re spending your available energy in terms of what you want to be focusing on once you’re well? Can intentionally using even a small amount of energy in that direction allay some of your frustration with thinking you’re wasting time? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

3 Comments

ME/CFS Choices - The Holiday Bustle

ME/CFS Attitude – Find Thankfulness

ME/CFS Pacing – Keeping the Beat

ME/CFS Energy – Intentional Use

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ME/CFS Choices - The Holiday Bustle

ME/CFS Attitude – Find Thankfulness

ME/CFS Pacing – Keeping the Beat

ME/CFS Energy – Intentional Use

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