...DEFEAT Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: ...............................................................You don't have to live with it
  • Home
  • About
    • This Site
    • Martha
  • Participate
  • Contact
    • Contact Form
    • Submissions
  • Links
  • Book
  • Further Lessons
  • Thanks

ME/CFS New Year - Take a fresh look

1/5/2021

5 Comments

 
Picture
It’s a hackneyed part of our culture that everyone makes New Year resolutions which we earnestly pursue for one month.  Then we return to our old habitual patterns.  And every year we resolve not to let that happen yet again.  So here we are.  For many, it’s a desire to improve one’s health.  If you’re struggling with ME/CFS, the stakes and the rewards are much higher than the average person who just wants to look or feel healthier.  For us, it’s about reclaiming our lives and our ability to be fully functioning and present – to be well again.
 
I encourage you to take a fresh look at your version of ME/CFS.  Hopefully you are keeping a daily log of your activities, sleeping/resting times, symptoms and medications.  Step back and take an objective look at your patterns.  Look for periods of wellness.  What preceded those periods?  Replicate those patterns.  Look for periods of ill health or crashes.  What preceded those periods?  Don’t repeat those patterns.  Look at your symptoms.  Which are the most debilitating?  When do they flair up?  How can you treat them in order to short circuit the flair up?  Look at your sleeping patterns.  How can you improve the quality of your sleep?  How can you make your bedroom into your version of slumber heaven – light, sound, comfort and sleep aids.  Your daily log needs to be mined for clues as you find your path back to wellness. 
 

If you’ve made progress this year and you’ve managed to shed some of the symptoms that were masking your version of ME/CFS, awesome!  As you take a fresh look, you may get a clearer view of the key or central issues which characterize your version of ME/CFS and some insight into new approaches, strategies and clues to your next steps.  It was through this methodical periodic review that I eventually unraveled my version of ME/CFS and was able to be fully well again.  What will you focus on in this New Year?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha


5 Comments

ME/CFS New Year - Take a fresh look

1/8/2019

2 Comments

 
Picture
It’s a hackneyed part of our culture that everyone makes New Year resolutions which we earnestly pursue for one month.  Then we return to our old habitual patterns.  And every year we resolve not to let that happen yet again.  So here we are.  For many, it’s a desire to improve one’s health.  If you’re struggling with ME/CFS, the stakes and the rewards are much higher than the average person who just wants to look or feel healthier.  For us, it’s about reclaiming our lives and our ability to be fully functioning and present – to be well again.
 
I encourage you to take a fresh look at your version of ME/CFS.  Hopefully you are keeping a daily log of your activities, sleeping/resting times, symptoms and medications.  Step back and take an objective look at your patterns.  Look for periods of wellness.  What preceded those periods?  Replicate those patterns.  Look for periods of ill health or crashes.  What preceded those periods?  Don’t repeat those patterns.  Look at your symptoms.  Which are the most debilitating?  When do they flair up?  How can you treat them in order to short circuit the flair up?  Look at your sleeping patterns.  How can you improve the quality of your sleep?  How can you make your bedroom into your version of slumber heaven – light, sound, comfort and sleep aids.  Your daily log needs to be mined for clues as you find your path back to wellness. 

 
If you’ve made progress this year and you’ve managed to shed some of the symptoms that were masking your version of ME/CFS, awesome!  As you take a fresh look, you may get a clearer view of the key or central issues which characterize your version of ME/CFS and some insight into new approaches, strategies and clues to your next steps.  It was through this methodical periodic review that I eventually unraveled my version of ME/CFS and was able to be fully well again.  What will you focus on in this New Year?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha


2 Comments

ME/CFS/SEID New Year – Take Control

1/10/2017

2 Comments

 
Picture
I’ll be completely honest.  I’m not a fan of New Year resolutions because most of us set ourselves up for failure by selecting a goal which is too difficult and all encompassing.  These types of resolutions require the individual to change most of their way of being in the timeframe of an overnight.  Is there anything wrong with challenging ourselves with self improvement?  Absolutely not.  But when you’re struggling with ME/CFS/SEID, let’s not add just one more big failure to the pile of reasons why we sometimes grind on ourselves.
 
Although the patients experience with ME/CFS/SEID can differ, there is one consistent thread that I hear from everyone – Helplessness.  This disease persistently beats us down.  With the lack of recognition, with the lack of medical treatment, with the lack of understanding from many of those around us, and with our own self doubts.  It can be daunting.  And in the face of this, it can be easy to allow ME/CFS/SEID to control us and to give in.  We forget that there are aspects of this disease that we do have control over.
 
We control our daily choices about rest, nutrition and supporting our immune systems.  We control our data collection and review of patterns.  We control how we communicate and seek support.  We control our own attitudes and approach to ME/CFS/SEID.
 
I encourage you to start by taking control of just one of these areas of your ME/CFS/SEID struggle.  Then over time as you feel confident in that area, add something else.  Slowly, patiently and consistently begin to take back what you can control about ME/CFS/SEID.

 
My wish for all of you is a year filled with step by step success in taking control of ME/CFS/SEID.  Where are you going to start?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha


2 Comments

ME/CFS/SEID New Year - Take a fresh look

1/3/2017

4 Comments

 
Picture
It’s a hackneyed part of our culture that everyone makes New Year resolutions which we earnestly pursue for one month.  Then we return to our old habitual patterns.  And every year we resolve not to let that happen yet again.  So here we are.  For many, it’s a desire to improve one’s health.  If you’re struggling with ME/CFS/SEID, the stakes and the rewards are much higher than the average person who just wants to look or feel healthier.  For us, it’s about reclaiming our lives and our ability to be fully functioning and present – to be well again.
 
I encourage you to take a fresh look at your version of ME/CFS/SEID.  Hopefully you are keeping a daily log of your activities, sleeping/resting times, symptoms and medications.  Step back and take an objective look at your patterns.  Look for periods of wellness.  What preceded those periods?  Replicate those patterns.  Look for periods of ill health or crashes.  What preceded those periods?  Don’t repeat those patterns.  Look at your symptoms.  Which are the most debilitating?  When do they flair up?  How can you treat them in order to short circuit the flair up?  Look at your sleeping patterns.  How can you improve the quality of your sleep?  How can you make your bedroom into your version of slumber heaven – light, sound, comfort and sleep aids.  Your daily log needs to be mined for clues as you find your path back to wellness. 
 

If you’ve made progress this year and you’ve managed to shed some of the symptoms that were masking your version of ME/CFS/SEID, awesome!  As you take a fresh look, you may get a clearer view of the key or central issues which characterize your version of ME/CFS/SEID and some insight into new approaches, strategies and clues to your next steps.  It was through this methodical periodic review that I eventually unraveled my version of ME/CFS/SEID and was able to be fully well again.  What can you see in your patterns?  What will you focus on in this New Year?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha


4 Comments

ME/CFS/SEID Choices - Lives that are Unhealthy

8/23/2016

4 Comments

 
Picture© 2016 TSM
I’ve been thinking about ME/CFS/SEID and how the strategy I used to get well was to carefully examine all my illness patterns.  I documented them and looked for clues. Then I adjusted my patterns and so on until slowly over a long period of time I began to feel well again.  During that process I observed in myself patterns that not only didn’t serve we well as a person trying to recover from ME/CFS/SEID, these patterns were damaging for a healthy person.
​
Anyone struggling with ME/CFS/SEID becomes acutely aware of the health they once had and lost.  For many of us, myself included, that good health had been taken for granted.  When I think of the ways I had pushed myself physically, I wonder how my body was able to tolerate it as long as it did.  I was clearly vulnerable when I contracted ME/CFS/SEID.
​
This cruel disease is challenging enough to unravel but then we also need to decide what kind of life we want when we are finally well again.  "I want my life back", is frequently lamented.  So what kind of life do we want back?  I decided that I didn’t want the stressful, physically demanding life that I had before.  And I wanted to take better care of my healthy self than I had been.  My old eating and self-care habits were awful.  So as I began to recover, I decided to make many of my new healthier habits part of the lifestyle I would continue to follow when I returned to full health.


So don’t wait.  Start making choices now that you want to carry with you into your new healthier life when you have recovered from ME/CFS/SEID.  It will help you now as you return to full health and it will help you to stay healthy.  What positive health habits are you planning to incorporate into your healthy life?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for my next posting on the Tuesday after Labor Day.  Add consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

4 Comments

SEID/CFS Goals – Attitude, Attitude, Attitude

2/24/2015

4 Comments

 
Picture
A while back, a friend recommended that I read Amy Chua’s Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.  Shortly after, an item on the internet about the book caught my eye.  There appeared to be some controversy about the book – a true story.  Strong opinions were voiced for and against the mom (author of the book).  Now this definitely had my attention.  I decided to pick up a copy.

I’d only read forty or so pages and I understood why people took issue with the mothers parenting style.  She was driven to have her children excel at school and music to the exclusion of everything else.  She was relentless about studies and practicing.  A therapist would probably label her as obsessive.  Many readers thought she was cruel.

If I had never had SEID/CFS, I might have been in the cruel camp.  And I definitely question such extreme rigidity with children.  But honestly, I understood the mother and her motivation.  She set a goal for her children that she was determined to reach.  OK, it wasn’t her own goal and she seemed to act like a bully at times.  But what I identified with was the determination, the attitude to stick with the plan always keeping the goal in mind.  Not being derailed by everyday distractions.  For her, if it didn’t fit into the long term plan, it was not allowed.

After two years of riding the cruel SEID/CFS rollercoaster, I finally decided that what I had been doing wasn’t working.  I needed a new approach.  From that day forward, I was like the tiger mother.  I was highly motivated to get my health back.  I was determined, focused and had the capacity for regimentation.  If it wasn’t part of the plan, it was out.  No more crappy food.  No more activities that sent me into relapses.  No more cheating on sleep and rest.  No more isolation – I asked for help.  No more fuzzy recall – I kept records.  No more fretting about what other people thought of me – I accepted my situation and didn’t beat myself up about it.  I focused on the goal of getting my health back.

So if you’re suffering with SEID/CFS, what is your goal?  What are you doing to reach it?  Are you consistent and steadfast?  Are you a tiger about getting well again?  Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha

4 Comments

ME/CFS New Year - Take a fresh look

1/6/2015

2 Comments

 
Picture
It’s a hackneyed part of our culture that everyone makes New Year resolutions which we earnestly pursue for one month.  Then we return to our old habitual patterns.  And every year we resolve not to let that happen yet again.  So here we are.  For many, it’s a desire to improve one’s health.  If you’re struggling with ME/CFS, the stakes and the rewards are much higher than the average person who just wants to look or feel healthier.  For us, it’s about reclaiming our lives and our ability to be fully functioning and present – to be well again.

I encourage you to take a fresh look at your version of ME/CFS.  Hopefully you are keeping a daily log of your activities, sleeping/resting times, symptoms and medications.  Step back and take an objective look at your patterns.  Look for periods of wellness.  What preceded those periods?  Replicate those patterns.  Look for periods of ill health or crashes.  What preceded those periods?  Don’t repeat those patterns.  Look at your symptoms.  Which are the most debilitating?  When do they flair up?  How can you treat them in order to short circuit the flair up?  Look at your sleeping patterns.  How can you improve the quality of your sleep?  How can you make your bedroom into your version of slumber heaven – light, sound, comfort and sleep aids.  Your daily log needs to be mined for clues as you find your path back to wellness. 


If you’ve made progress this year and you’ve managed to shed some of the symptoms that were masking your version of ME/CFS, awesome!  As you take a fresh look, you may get a clearer view of the key or central issues which characterize your version of ME/CFS and some insight into new approaches, strategies and clues to your next steps.  It was through this methodical periodic review that I eventually unraveled my version of ME/CFS and was able to be fully well again.  What can you see in your ME/CFS patterns?  What will you focus on in this New Year?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha


2 Comments

ME/CFS Choices – What would you Decide?

10/22/2014

3 Comments

 
Picture© 2014 TSM
Lately I’ve been making decisions about what I want to be doing – real, active, conscious decisions.  I’m getting to the point in my life where odds are, there is less of it ahead of me than behind me.  The term ‘bucket list’ has become popular.  But I’m not thinking about specific events or activities that I want to check off a list.  I’m thinking about the way I want to live my daily life.  And of course this has gotten me thinking about my struggle with ME/CFS and what I’m doing with my hard won, regained wellness.

Once I knew that ME/CFS was in my past, I did not choose to go back to the fast paced, stressful life that I led prior to being ill.  I decided to live a life focused on my family and to make better wellness decisions.  In retrospect, I’d say that I was reasonably successful in that choice.

If restoring your wellness is your current goal, imagine the kind of life you would choose to live, having been through all this, if you were well again.  Would you go back to the old pace?  The old ways of marginal self-care?  What kind of focus would you have in life as a well person?  When you think about your prior lifestyle choices, which would you resume?  What would you dump?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha


3 Comments

ME/CFS Emotional Baggage – Dump It

9/16/2014

2 Comments

 
Picture© 2014 TSM
I’ve been helping someone clear out a family home which is full of memories – a mixture of good and bad.  But mostly the house is weighed down with so much emotion that it feels like the structure itself sags under the burden.  Of course I started to think about my struggle with ME/CFS and the crushing assortment of emotions that I wrestled with.

In the beginning, I was consumed with frustration that I had no answers and anger that I was so quickly dismissed as ‘just depressed’.  Then as I fell into the ME/CFS trap of push/crash cycles I developed self-blame.   And as the months then years dragged on with no improvement, I felt guilty about the drain I had become on my family and the lost time that I had stolen from them and from me.  Then I added in a good dose of shame which Andrea and Donna have recently commented on.  Eventually I had created a toxic soup of emotions which I was drowning in.

Pile all the worry on top of that and I was definitely going under.  Talk about emotional baggage!  Could I have been any better at bringing myself down?  A surgeon couldn’t have succeeded in removing my self-esteem and self-image more precisely.  And what about all the energy I drained from my limited reserves just festering over this mountain of emotional baggage?

After I spent a couple of years letting these emotions keep me under, I finally came to the understanding that I was only making my struggle with ME/CFS even harder.  It took a great deal of determination to dump the emotional baggage.  But once I started to off load, it felt great.  I became intentional about my emotions and I packed lightly.  How are you dealing with your emotional baggage?  What strategies have you developed?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha


2 Comments

ME/CFS Approach – Time to Re-evaluate

9/2/2014

6 Comments

 
Picture
As the kids go back to school, a lot of people return to a more normal pattern of life and activities.  The summer slips away and we’re looking toward fall and the changing of the seasons.  But for many people who are struggling with ME/CFS, the summer wasn’t that much different.  It was, for the most part, more of the same ‘dealing with ME/CFS’ issues.  For many, the summer provides a frustrating reminder of what we can’t do as we watch others plunge into all the outdoor summer activities.

When I was first struggling with ME/CFS, summer was a cruel exclamation point on my failure to return to a healthy life.  It seemed like an endless time of other peoples’ leisure pursuits that were beyond my participation.  Well, the good news is that it’s over.  So as others trend back to their regular schedules and plans, it’s a good time for those struggling with ME/CFS to do the same.

As we often hear, same approach, same result.  Now is a good time to step back and evaluate your personal approach to dealing with your version of ME/CFS and how it’s been working.  For some, the default approach is day-to-day with no formal plan.  For others, the approach is more structured.  Whatever you’ve been doing, take time to evaluate where you are now compared with three months ago, six months ago or last year at this time.  Are you healthier?  About the same?  Somewhat worse?  Have you been consistent with what you want to be doing to manage your ME/CFS?  Has your approached worked?  Do you need to make changes?

This process can be frustrating or inspirational.  For me, honestly, I failed in my first few attempts to shift my approach to ME/CFS.  But after a few years of getting absolutely nowhere – actually worse which culminated in a crippling relapse – I had a moment of realization.  If I ever wanted to get out of the ME/CFS hole, first I had to build a ladder and then I had to climb it – one rung at a time.


How would you evaluate the approach you’ve been using?  What changes are you planning to make?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha

6 Comments
<<Previous
    Picture
    Hello,  I'm
    Martha Kilcoyne

    Welcome
     to our Community!

    After struggling with CFS for four years I am fortunate now to be fully well and making choices about how I want to live my healthy life.  One choice is to be an active part of the CFS community and to offer one voice from the fully recoverd to the dialogue.  I'm glad you're here!   For more about me, here's my Bio.

      Join Our Community
      Enter your email address to
      follow this blog.

    Join

    For Books, Supplements, Sleep aids and more

    Picture

    Archives

    December 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011

    Categories

    All
    Appreciation
    Attitude
    Being Positive
    Brain Fog
    Choices
    Community
    Connect
    Coping
    Data
    Diagnosis
    Doctor
    Emotions
    Energy
    First
    Food
    Funding
    Genetics
    Goals
    Gratitude
    Groups
    Guest Blog
    Gut Feelings
    Health
    Helping
    Holidays
    Hope
    Humor
    Immune Support
    Inner Voice
    Ion Channelopathy
    Irony
    Isolation
    Journal
    Log
    Mantra
    Memory
    Mind
    Negativity
    Nutrition
    Opinions
    Organizations
    Outlook
    Pace
    Participate
    Patience
    Patterns
    Personality
    Perspective
    Protocol
    Provider
    Pushing Too Hard
    Pushing Too Hard
    Record
    Recovery
    Relapses
    Research
    Resolutions
    Rest
    Sleep Depravation
    Step By Step
    Step By Step
    Strategies
    Supplements
    Support
    Take Control
    Take Control
    Thankfulness
    Vacation
    Variables
    Version

    RSS Feed

    Picture
    Copyright © 2011-2012
    Triple Spiral MEDIA LLC