Category: Resolutions

ME/CFS/SEID New Year – Take Control

1/10/2017

I’ll be completely honest. I’m not a fan of New Year resolutions because most of us set ourselves up for failure by selecting a goal which is too difficult and all encompassing. These types of resolutions require the individual to change most of their way of being in the timeframe of an overnight. Is there anything wrong with challenging ourselves with self improvement? Absolutely not. But when you’re struggling with ME/CFS/SEID, let’s not add just one more big failure to the pile of reasons why we sometimes grind on ourselves.

Although the patients experience with ME/CFS/SEID can differ, there is one consistent thread that I hear from everyone – Helplessness. This disease persistently beats us down. With the lack of recognition, with the lack of medical treatment, with the lack of understanding from many of those around us, and with our own self doubts. It can be daunting. And in the face of this, it can be easy to allow ME/CFS/SEID to control us and to give in. We forget that there are aspects of this disease that we do have control over.

We control our daily choices about rest, nutrition and supporting our immune systems. We control our data collection and review of patterns. We control how we communicate and seek support. We control our own attitudes and approach to ME/CFS/SEID.

I encourage you to start by taking control of just one of these areas of your ME/CFS/SEID struggle. Then over time as you feel confident in that area, add something else. Slowly, patiently and consistently begin to take back what you can control about ME/CFS/SEID.

My wish for all of you is a year filled with step by step success in taking control of ME/CFS/SEID. Where are you going to start? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

2 Comments

ME/CFS/SEID New Year - Take a fresh look

1/3/2017

4 Comments

It’s a hackneyed part of our culture that everyone makes New Year resolutions which we earnestly pursue for one month. Then we return to our old habitual patterns. And every year we resolve not to let that happen yet again. So here we are. For many, it’s a desire to improve one’s health. If you’re struggling with ME/CFS/SEID, the stakes and the rewards are much higher than the average person who just wants to look or feel healthier. For us, it’s about reclaiming our lives and our ability to be fully functioning and present – to be well again.

I encourage you to take a fresh look at your version of ME/CFS/SEID. Hopefully you are keeping a daily log of your activities, sleeping/resting times, symptoms and medications. Step back and take an objective look at your patterns. Look for periods of wellness. What preceded those periods? Replicate those patterns. Look for periods of ill health or crashes. What preceded those periods? Don’t repeat those patterns. Look at your symptoms. Which are the most debilitating? When do they flair up? How can you treat them in order to short circuit the flair up? Look at your sleeping patterns. How can you improve the quality of your sleep? How can you make your bedroom into your version of slumber heaven – light, sound, comfort and sleep aids. Your daily log needs to be mined for clues as you find your path back to wellness.

If you’ve made progress this year and you’ve managed to shed some of the symptoms that were masking your version of ME/CFS/SEID, awesome! As you take a fresh look, you may get a clearer view of the key or central issues which characterize your version of ME/CFS/SEID and some insight into new approaches, strategies and clues to your next steps. It was through this methodical periodic review that I eventually unraveled my version of ME/CFS/SEID and was able to be fully well again. What can you see in your patterns? What will you focus on in this New Year? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

4 Comments

ME/CFS/SEID Choices - Lives that are Unhealthy

8/23/2016

4 Comments

I’ve been thinking about ME/CFS/SEID and how the strategy I used to get well was to carefully examine all my illness patterns. I documented them and looked for clues. Then I adjusted my patterns and so on until slowly over a long period of time I began to feel well again. During that process I observed in myself patterns that not only didn’t serve we well as a person trying to recover from ME/CFS/SEID, these patterns were damaging for a healthy person.

Anyone struggling with ME/CFS/SEID becomes acutely aware of the health they once had and lost. For many of us, myself included, that good health had been taken for granted. When I think of the ways I had pushed myself physically, I wonder how my body was able to tolerate it as long as it did. I was clearly vulnerable when I contracted ME/CFS/SEID.

This cruel disease is challenging enough to unravel but then we also need to decide what kind of life we want when we are finally well again. "I want my life back", is frequently lamented. So what kind of life do we want back? I decided that I didn’t want the stressful, physically demanding life that I had before. And I wanted to take better care of my healthy self than I had been. My old eating and self-care habits were awful. So as I began to recover, I decided to make many of my new healthier habits part of the lifestyle I would continue to follow when I returned to full health.

So don’t wait. Start making choices now that you want to carry with you into your new healthier life when you have recovered from ME/CFS/SEID. It will help you now as you return to full health and it will help you to stay healthy. What positive health habits are you planning to incorporate into your healthy life? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for my next posting on the Tuesday after Labor Day. Add consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

4 Comments

SEID/CFS Goals – Attitude, Attitude, Attitude

2/24/2015

4 Comments

A while back, a friend recommended that I read Amy Chua’s Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Shortly after, an item on the internet about the book caught my eye. There appeared to be some controversy about the book – a true story. Strong opinions were voiced for and against the mom (author of the book). Now this definitely had my attention. I decided to pick up a copy.

I’d only read forty or so pages and I understood why people took issue with the mothers parenting style. She was driven to have her children excel at school and music to the exclusion of everything else. She was relentless about studies and practicing. A therapist would probably label her as obsessive. Many readers thought she was cruel.

If I had never had SEID/CFS, I might have been in the cruel camp. And I definitely question such extreme rigidity with children. But honestly, I understood the mother and her motivation. She set a goal for her children that she was determined to reach. OK, it wasn’t her own goal and she seemed to act like a bully at times. But what I identified with was the determination, the attitude to stick with the plan always keeping the goal in mind. Not being derailed by everyday distractions. For her, if it didn’t fit into the long term plan, it was not allowed.

After two years of riding the cruel SEID/CFS rollercoaster, I finally decided that what I had been doing wasn’t working. I needed a new approach. From that day forward, I was like the tiger mother. I was highly motivated to get my health back. I was determined, focused and had the capacity for regimentation. If it wasn’t part of the plan, it was out. No more crappy food. No more activities that sent me into relapses. No more cheating on sleep and rest. No more isolation – I asked for help. No more fuzzy recall – I kept records. No more fretting about what other people thought of me – I accepted my situation and didn’t beat myself up about it. I focused on the goal of getting my health back.

So if you’re suffering with SEID/CFS, what is your goal? What are you doing to reach it? Are you consistent and steadfast? Are you a tiger about getting well again? Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha

4 Comments

ME/CFS New Year - Take a fresh look

1/6/2015

2 Comments

It’s a hackneyed part of our culture that everyone makes New Year resolutions which we earnestly pursue for one month. Then we return to our old habitual patterns. And every year we resolve not to let that happen yet again. So here we are. For many, it’s a desire to improve one’s health. If you’re struggling with ME/CFS, the stakes and the rewards are much higher than the average person who just wants to look or feel healthier. For us, it’s about reclaiming our lives and our ability to be fully functioning and present – to be well again.

I encourage you to take a fresh look at your version of ME/CFS. Hopefully you are keeping a daily log of your activities, sleeping/resting times, symptoms and medications. Step back and take an objective look at your patterns. Look for periods of wellness. What preceded those periods? Replicate those patterns. Look for periods of ill health or crashes. What preceded those periods? Don’t repeat those patterns. Look at your symptoms. Which are the most debilitating? When do they flair up? How can you treat them in order to short circuit the flair up? Look at your sleeping patterns. How can you improve the quality of your sleep? How can you make your bedroom into your version of slumber heaven – light, sound, comfort and sleep aids. Your daily log needs to be mined for clues as you find your path back to wellness.

If you’ve made progress this year and you’ve managed to shed some of the symptoms that were masking your version of ME/CFS, awesome! As you take a fresh look, you may get a clearer view of the key or central issues which characterize your version of ME/CFS and some insight into new approaches, strategies and clues to your next steps. It was through this methodical periodic review that I eventually unraveled my version of ME/CFS and was able to be fully well again. What can you see in your ME/CFS patterns? What will you focus on in this New Year? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha

2 Comments

ME/CFS Choices – What would you Decide?

10/22/2014

3 Comments

Lately I’ve been making decisions about what I want to be doing – real, active, conscious decisions. I’m getting to the point in my life where odds are, there is less of it ahead of me than behind me. The term ‘bucket list’ has become popular. But I’m not thinking about specific events or activities that I want to check off a list. I’m thinking about the way I want to live my daily life. And of course this has gotten me thinking about my struggle with ME/CFS and what I’m doing with my hard won, regained wellness.

Once I knew that ME/CFS was in my past, I did not choose to go back to the fast paced, stressful life that I led prior to being ill. I decided to live a life focused on my family and to make better wellness decisions. In retrospect, I’d say that I was reasonably successful in that choice.

If restoring your wellness is your current goal, imagine the kind of life you would choose to live, having been through all this, if you were well again. Would you go back to the old pace? The old ways of marginal self-care? What kind of focus would you have in life as a well person? When you think about your prior lifestyle choices, which would you resume? What would you dump? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha

3 Comments

ME/CFS Emotional Baggage – Dump It

9/16/2014

2 Comments

I’ve been helping someone clear out a family home which is full of memories – a mixture of good and bad. But mostly the house is weighed down with so much emotion that it feels like the structure itself sags under the burden. Of course I started to think about my struggle with ME/CFS and the crushing assortment of emotions that I wrestled with.

In the beginning, I was consumed with frustration that I had no answers and anger that I was so quickly dismissed as ‘just depressed’. Then as I fell into the ME/CFS trap of push/crash cycles I developed self-blame. And as the months then years dragged on with no improvement, I felt guilty about the drain I had become on my family and the lost time that I had stolen from them and from me. Then I added in a good dose of shame which Andrea and Donna have recently commented on. Eventually I had created a toxic soup of emotions which I was drowning in.

Pile all the worry on top of that and I was definitely going under. Talk about emotional baggage! Could I have been any better at bringing myself down? A surgeon couldn’t have succeeded in removing my self-esteem and self-image more precisely. And what about all the energy I drained from my limited reserves just festering over this mountain of emotional baggage?

After I spent a couple of years letting these emotions keep me under, I finally came to the understanding that I was only making my struggle with ME/CFS even harder. It took a great deal of determination to dump the emotional baggage. But once I started to off load, it felt great. I became intentional about my emotions and I packed lightly. How are you dealing with your emotional baggage? What strategies have you developed? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha

2 Comments

ME/CFS Approach – Time to Re-evaluate

9/2/2014

6 Comments

As the kids go back to school, a lot of people return to a more normal pattern of life and activities. The summer slips away and we’re looking toward fall and the changing of the seasons. But for many people who are struggling with ME/CFS, the summer wasn’t that much different. It was, for the most part, more of the same ‘dealing with ME/CFS’ issues. For many, the summer provides a frustrating reminder of what we can’t do as we watch others plunge into all the outdoor summer activities.

When I was first struggling with ME/CFS, summer was a cruel exclamation point on my failure to return to a healthy life. It seemed like an endless time of other peoples’ leisure pursuits that were beyond my participation. Well, the good news is that it’s over. So as others trend back to their regular schedules and plans, it’s a good time for those struggling with ME/CFS to do the same.

As we often hear, same approach, same result. Now is a good time to step back and evaluate your personal approach to dealing with your version of ME/CFS and how it’s been working. For some, the default approach is day-to-day with no formal plan. For others, the approach is more structured. Whatever you’ve been doing, take time to evaluate where you are now compared with three months ago, six months ago or last year at this time. Are you healthier? About the same? Somewhat worse? Have you been consistent with what you want to be doing to manage your ME/CFS? Has your approached worked? Do you need to make changes?

This process can be frustrating or inspirational. For me, honestly, I failed in my first few attempts to shift my approach to ME/CFS. But after a few years of getting absolutely nowhere – actually worse which culminated in a crippling relapse – I had a moment of realization. If I ever wanted to get out of the ME/CFS hole, first I had to build a ladder and then I had to climb it – one rung at a time.

How would you evaluate the approach you’ve been using? What changes are you planning to make? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha

6 Comments

ME/CFS Self-Care – We Need Better Grades

2/4/2014

2 Comments

I missed posting a blog last week because I’ve been struggling
with a prolonged bout with the flu. I’m finally starting to feel better and today I’ll begin to get back on track. But I’m taking it slow – a life lesson I’ve learned from my own protocol. And of course I did a lot of thinking about ME/CFS while I was sick. It
was easy to taste once again the cruelty of that nightmare as I struggled with a flu that wouldn’t let go of me.

So I’ve thought about self-care and the poor quality of it in my
life. I seem to be marginally taking care of myself. Honestly,
a health coach would give me a grade of C minus. I know better and yet I’m not doing the right things. I don’t know if it’s
human nature or nurture, but as long as we can get away with not caring for ourselves, we don’t. Then something happens. When our health is threatened, we pay attention.

Fresh off a prolonged bout with the flu, I’m paying attention. And at least right now, I plan to stay on top of it. I deserve better self-care than I’ve been getting from myself. How well have you been taking care of yourself? What’s your self-care grade? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha

2 Comments

ME/CFS Focus – To the Exclusion of All Else

5/21/2013

4 Comments

My apologies for missing my regular blog of late – I have been in a single-minded mode. We made the decision to move – sell and buy a home – and have been occupied with little else after our house sold quickly. My life has been about the move and nothing else for months. All my other normal pursuits fell away and my life became a single note – the move. Of course I began to think about my struggle with ME/CFS and how, at first, I tried to keep juggling all the other things in my life. But that turned out to be a waste of precious energy. When I finally began to understand the incredibly difficult challenge of ME/CFS, I realized that I needed to focus on getting well to the exclusion of all else.

With ME/CFS, my former ‘type A’ life was totally unsustainable. I was forced to put my life on hold. I was forced to be a patient. I was forced to find answers to my version of ME/CFS. I was forced to focus on ME/CFS to the exclusion of all else.

Now, the hardest part of the move is over. We are in our new home, digging thru boxes trying to find things. I actually cooked a meal today. And with ME/CFS, I finally got to a point when I could begin to bring some things back into my life - slowly and selectively. But now with the move and back then with ME/CFS, I’m keeping my focus on the goal to the exclusion of all else. How are you keeping your focus on getting well again? Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha

4 Comments

<<Previous

ME/CFS/SEID New Year – Take Control

ME/CFS/SEID New Year - Take a fresh look

ME/CFS/SEID Choices - Lives that are Unhealthy

SEID/CFS Goals – Attitude, Attitude, Attitude

ME/CFS New Year - Take a fresh look

ME/CFS Choices – What would you Decide?

ME/CFS Emotional Baggage – Dump It

ME/CFS Approach – Time to Re-evaluate

ME/CFS Self-Care – We Need Better Grades

ME/CFS Focus – To the Exclusion of All Else

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