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ME/CFS New Year - Take a fresh look

1/24/2023

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It’s a hackneyed part of our culture that everyone makes New Year resolutions which we earnestly pursue for one month.  Then we return to our old habitual patterns.  And every year we resolve not to let that happen yet again.  So here we are.  For many, it’s a desire to improve one’s health.  If you’re struggling with ME/CFS, the stakes and the rewards are much higher than the average person who just wants to look or feel healthier.  For us, it’s about reclaiming our lives and our ability to be fully functioning and present – to be well again.
 
I encourage you to take a fresh look at your version of ME/CFS.  Hopefully you are keeping a daily log of your activities, sleeping/resting times, symptoms and medications.  Step back and take an objective look at your patterns.  Look for periods of wellness.  What preceded those periods?  Replicate those patterns.  Look for periods of ill health or crashes.  What preceded those periods?  Don’t repeat those patterns.  Look at your symptoms.  Which are the most debilitating?  When do they flair up?  How can you treat them in order to short circuit the flair up?  Look at your sleeping patterns.  How can you improve the quality of your sleep?  How can you make your bedroom into your version of slumber heaven – light, sound, comfort and sleep aids.  Your daily log needs to be mined for clues as you find your path back to wellness. 

 
If you’ve made progress this year and you’ve managed to shed some of the symptoms that were masking your version of ME/CFS, awesome!  As you take a fresh look, you may get a clearer view of the key or central issues which characterize your version of ME/CFS and some insight into new approaches, strategies and clues to your next steps.  It was through this methodical periodic review that I eventually unraveled my version of ME/CFS and was able to be fully well again.  What will you focus on in this New Year?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again, Martha


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ME/CFS New Year - Take a fresh look

1/4/2022

4 Comments

 
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​It’s a hackneyed part of our culture that everyone makes New Year resolutions which we earnestly pursue for one month.  Then we return to our old habitual patterns.  And every year we resolve not to let that happen yet again.  So here we are.  For many, it’s a desire to improve one’s health.  If you’re struggling with ME/CFS, the stakes and the rewards are much higher than the average person who just wants to look or feel healthier.  For us, it’s about reclaiming our lives and our ability to be fully functioning and present – to be well again.
 
I encourage you to take a fresh look at your version of ME/CFS.  Hopefully you are keeping a daily log of your activities, sleeping/resting times, symptoms and medications.  Step back and take an objective look at your patterns.  Look for periods of wellness.  What preceded those periods?  Replicate those patterns.  Look for periods of ill health or crashes.  What preceded those periods?  Don’t repeat those patterns.  Look at your symptoms.  Which are the most debilitating?  When do they flair up?  How can you treat them in order to short circuit the flair up?  Look at your sleeping patterns.  How can you improve the quality of your sleep?  How can you make your bedroom into your version of slumber heaven – light, sound, comfort and sleep aids.  Your daily log needs to be mined for clues as you find your path back to wellness. 

 
If you’ve made progress this year and you’ve managed to shed some of the symptoms that were masking your version of ME/CFS, awesome!  As you take a fresh look, you may get a clearer view of the key or central issues which characterize your version of ME/CFS and some insight into new approaches, strategies and clues to your next steps.  It was through this methodical periodic review that I eventually unraveled my version of ME/CFS and was able to be fully well again.  What will you focus on in this New Year?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

4 Comments

ME/CFS Answers – Look Within

6/8/2021

2 Comments

 
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Several decades ago everyone was wearing buttons.  It was the rage at the time and we Americans totally obliged.  I was slow to the party.  There really wasn’t something so important that I wanted to assert it everywhere I went.  Then I saw a button that called to me.  It simply said – Begin Within.  Yes, this was a perspective that I knew well and would want to impart to all.  Skip forward to last week when I was rummaging thru a drawer and found it.  I was thinking about how this simple wisdom was the key to my struggle with ME/CFS.
 
It wasn’t until I stopped looking for answers from others and looked within.  That’s where I finally found the answers.  Of course, they weren’t spelled out in big letters.  They were hidden in my version of ME/CFS.  I had to do the work to find them but they were there.  Once I got on track with my daily record, the answers started to slowly surface.  Not in days or weeks, but months and years.  It took patience and pacing but it all started when I understood that I needed to – Begin Within.

 
Have you discovered some important clues to your recovery by beginning within?  What strategies have worked for you?  Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!
 
Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha


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2 Comments

ME/CFS Feng Shui – How Does Your Energy Flow?

2/23/2021

5 Comments

 
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I was recently rearranging the furniture in my family room in order to accommodate a new door.  I also just wanted a new look without buying new furniture.  As I began to move things around, I was surprised at how different the same things could look and function just by rearranging them. The energy in the room changed too.  It felt airier and brighter – it flowed better.   Of course this got me thinking about ME/CFS and how poorly my energy flowed.

For most of the first half of my struggle with ME/CFS, I didn’t regulate my energy at all.  I burnt up whatever I had then crashed.  There was no pacing.  There was no intension to plan my day around what I could reasonably handle.  And most important, there was no progress toward getting better.  The opposite was true.  I was getting worse.

Once I decided to take more control of my ME/CFS, my energy flow changed dramatically.  Instead of the abrupt go, go then stop, stop, stop, I began to use my energy reserves at a slow but steady pace.  Much like the familiar Tortoise and Hare story, I was slowly getting back to wellness one day at a time.  And over a long period of time I got there.  Sadly, I’m guessing that I left a few Hares behind still trapped in the cruelty of ME/CFS.


I’m sitting in my newly rearranged family room as I write.  What a difference.  The energy is flowing easily - not rushed or stopped up.  How are you managing your energy flow?  Have you embraced your tortoise?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.
Be Well Again,
Martha


5 Comments

ME/CFS Change – New Beginnings

9/8/2020

2 Comments

 
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Although the official beginning of Fall will arrive on the Autumnal Equinox, the days after the long Labor Day weekend bring on the feel of the changing season.  Although some of us would enjoy an extra week or two of August weather, it’s time.  And nature reinforces that with the cooler nights and comfortable daytime temps.  When I was first sick with ME/CFS, I would grind on myself about another season come and gone – wasted – while I languished in bed.  I was still caught up in the desperate search to find someone who could cure me.
 
Then I finally began to realize that there wasn’t a silver bullet – even now, I’m sad that there isn’t – and that I needed a new approach.  A change - A new beginning.  I had been doing the same things over and over again and expecting a different outcome – as we all know, that’s the definition of insanity.  And yes, anyone would get a little insane if they knew they were physically ill but no one could or would provide some answers.
 
Many of us find change to be outside of our comfort zones.  But change is the way forward for many of life’s challenges.  ME/CFS is no exception.  It wasn’t until I took a hard look at myself and my specific version of ME/CFS that I began to heal and work my way back to full health.  Soap box – Are you keeping a daily journal?

 
What change will you bring to your approach to ME/CFS?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!
 
Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays and consider being part of the conversation. 
Be Well Again,
Martha


2 Comments

ME/CFS Hope – Paired with a Wellness Plan

5/19/2020

2 Comments

 
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While I was in the depths of my struggle with ME/CFS, I had the opportunity to be seen in a Boston clinic where I thought they were familiar with ME/CFS.  The first doctor I saw there, after my complete lab work up and physical exam, was truly unhelpful.  He told me that there was nothing physically wrong with me and that I should go home and “have hope”.  At that moment, he was the recipient of all the rage about having ME/CFS that was pent up inside me.  His eyebrows may still be singed.
 
When I finally started working with another doctor at that clinic, and treating myself like a case study of one, I began to see slow but real progress.  It was then that I opened up to a collaboration of hope paired with a wellness plan.  As I worked through my physical illness and worked with my daily patterns, I also began to work on my attitude.  Prior to ME/CFS, I was an optimist by nature.  But ME/CFS had tainted my outlook.  It was beyond frustrating to be struggling with a physical illness that almost no one understood or even acknowledged to be real.  So, I began an intentional effort to raise my spirits and have some hope for recovery.  As I look back now, this was only possible because I was beginning to see glimmers of physical progress and I had determined to devote my immediate future to being well again.

 
I understood that hope without a focused effort to be physically well is equally as ineffective as a wellness plan without hope.  For me, they needed to be paired.  How do you balance your physical recovery plan with your outlook?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha


2 Comments

ME/CFS Answers – Look Within

8/27/2019

0 Comments

 
Picture
​Several decades ago everyone was wearing buttons.  It was the rage at the time and we Americans totally obliged.  I was slow to the party.  There really wasn’t something so important that I wanted to assert it everywhere I went.  Then I saw a button that called to me.  It simply said – Begin Within.  Yes, this was a perspective that I knew well and would want to impart to all.  Skip forward to last week when I was rummaging thru a drawer and found it.  I was thinking about how this simple wisdom was the key to my struggle with ME/CFS.
 
It wasn’t until I stopped looking for answers from others and looked within.  That’s where I finally found the answers.  Of course, they weren’t spelled out in big letters.  They were hidden in my version of ME/CFS.  I had to do the work to find them but they were there.  Once I got on track with my daily record, the answers started to slowly surface.  Not in days or weeks, but months and years.  It took patience and pacing but it all started when I understood that I needed to – Begin Within.
 

Have you discovered some important clues to your recovery by beginning within?  What strategies have worked for you?  Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!
 
Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again, 
Martha

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0 Comments

ME/CFS Recovery - Every Day Counts

1/29/2019

4 Comments

 
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I have a long-term goal.  And I make progress in some ways but fall short in others.  It’s been a struggle.  I made a recent decision to rethink my time management around this goal and remembered a favorite quote from Annie Dillard, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”  And I started to see the parallels between my recent approaches to this new goal and how I had initially reacted to my struggle with ME/CFS.  My approach had been inconsistent and I misunderstood the need to apply myself every day to my desire to get well.

So much of what I did in those early days of ME/CFS came out of frustration and anger.  But even when I moved past that, I still wasn’t focused on the importance of how I spent each and every day.  It took a while before I began to see each day as a building block, which was added to the day before.  And so on until I had built up a week of days, then a month of days and eventually many months and finally a year of days.  That added up to 365 days in a row of consciously working toward recovering my health.  When I finally understood the value and rewards of daily focus, I began to see real progress.


So our lives do reflect how we spend our days.  And one day at a time, each and every day, you can make progress toward regaining your health.  That’s the only way I was successful.  How do you focus on your recovery every day?  Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for my next posting on Tuesday, February 12th.   And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha


4 Comments

ME/CFS Perspective – Your Consent

11/13/2018

0 Comments

 
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I’ve been lucky to have many teachers and mentors in my life.  They’ve come from traditional as well as nontraditional paths.  One of my favorites is Eleanor Roosevelt.  Recently, I overheard a parent dumping a load of verbal judgment on his child and I started thinking about her famous quote, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  And I was remembering how hard it was when I was struggling with ME/CFS, to ignore the judgmental comments I received about my ‘weakness’.  That somehow I was at fault for being sick - I was choosing to be sick.  And that the reason for my continued illness was a lack of will or just plain laziness.  I remembered how much that hurt being flung at a ‘work till you drop’ Type A personality like me.
 
When I finally understood that the path back to health needed to be a case study of one, it freed me from the burden of the ‘holier than thou’ judgments.  But it took conscious effort to ignore – to not give my consent for others to label me as inferior.
 
Another quote of Eleanor’s helped me through that time as well.  “Do one thing everyday that scares you.”  It took a great deal of courage to let go of so much in order to focus on getting well again.

 
How do you deal with the attitude of those who look at you and see weakness?  Or even laziness?  What are your strategies for withholding your consent?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha


0 Comments

ME/CFS Change – New Beginnings

9/4/2018

0 Comments

 
Picture
Although the official beginning of Fall will arrive on the Autumnal Equinox, the days after the long Labor Day weekend and the sighting of a morning school bus bring on the feel of the changing season.  Although some of us would enjoy an extra week or two of August weather, it’s time.  And nature reinforces that with the cooler nights and comfortable daytime temps.  When I was first sick with ME/CFS, I would grind on myself about another season come and gone – wasted – while I languished in bed.  I was still caught up in the desperate search to find someone who could cure me.
 
Then I finally began to realize that there wasn’t a silver bullet – even now, I’m sad that there isn’t – and that I needed a new approach.  A change - A new beginning.  I had been doing the same things over and over again and expecting a different outcome – as we all know, that’s the definition of insanity.  And yes, anyone would get a little insane if they knew they were physically ill but no one could or would provide some answers.
 
Many of us find change to be outside of our comfort zones.  But change is the way forward for many of life’s challenges.  ME/CFS is no exception.  It wasn’t until I took a hard look at myself and my specific version of ME/CFS that I began to heal and work my way back to full health.  Soap box – Are you keeping a daily journal?

 
What change will you bring to your approach to ME/CFS?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!
 
I will be off the grid for the next several weeks.  I’m looking forward to the time I’ll be spending away from the distractions of technology however much I love its’ gift of connectedness.  Look for my next posting on Tuesday, October 2nd and consider being part of the conversation.
 
Be Well Again,
Martha

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    Hello,  I'm
    Martha Kilcoyne

    Welcome
     to our Community!

    After struggling with CFS for four years I am fortunate now to be fully well and making choices about how I want to live my healthy life.  One choice is to be an active part of the CFS community and to offer one voice from the fully recoverd to the dialogue.  I'm glad you're here!   For more about me, here's my Bio.

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