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SEID/CFS Recovery – Take Control

10/27/2015

Have you had the experience of being introduced to a new perspective or way of looking at something and then suddenly you see it everywhere? Is it something new that’s popping up everywhere or had it been there all the time? Is it you who has changed by being aware or more open? From my own experience, I think it’s me. And when I truly grasp a new perspective, it seems to apply to everything.

My latest perspective is about control versus out of control. So much of our lives are controlled from somewhere else. But there is much that we can control. Not everything and not all of a certain thing, but there is much that we can tweak, reinforce and push for. Lately I’ve heard many people express to me and wring their hands about how things are happening in their lives. And they take the perspective that they are at the mercy of whatever it is. And as I hear this, my mind is saying take control. Make some intentional changes and be proactive. And of course it’s gotten me thinking about my struggle with SEID/CFS.

At first, I turned over control of my illness to my doctors. But after much wasted time and energy, I finally admitted to myself that not only did they not have the answers, they ultimately just didn’t get it. A few were compassionate but that just felt good. It didn’t get me well. Finally I started to carve out pieces that I could control. I was sick of being sick and I was sick of getting nowhere. So, even though I wasn’t convinced that I really could change my SEID/CFS illness, I was so ticked off about having no answers to this cruel disease that I just started recording and tweaking. Recording and tweaking. Recording and tweaking ad nauseum.

So I just took action. I didn’t know what I was doing. But I was doing and it felt good. Would I get anywhere? I didn’t know but it felt better exerting some control. Eventually it became my path back to wellness but I didn’t know that when I started. I just needed to take some control. And it was good for my mental health. Are you taking some control of your version of SEID/CFS? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome.

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha

2 Comments

SEID/CFS Negativity - Think Dodgeball

10/20/2015

3 Comments

Over time, we all develop coping mechanisms – some are more successful than others. One approach that I’ve used often to deal with SEID/CFS negativity - and negativity for other reasons as well - has been particularly helpful for me.

When I’m talking with someone or reading an e-mail, and the other person sends me a stream of negativity – whether they understand what they’re doing or not – I play mental dodgeball. Remember back to when you were in grade school and you were at recess or in gym class. Picture yourself as your kid self. You’re on the team that’s in the middle and it’s your turn to dodge the ball.

Now you see a ball coming right at you. Your reflexes kick in and you move to your right. The ball misses, passes by you, and goes on its’ way. You’ve dodged that ball. You don’t really care where it goes next. It’s no longer your concern.

So back to that person sending negativity at you. In your mind, step aside and let it flow past you. Don’t absorb it, don’t dwell on it, just let it go by. And yes, sometimes you have to mentally step aside throughout most of a conversation but you learn to not have lots of interaction with that person even if you encounter them frequently in your life. A wave, a smile, a kind word, then off you go - you don’t hang around long enough to have to dodge negativity.

Playing mental dodgeball has become a good strategy for me whether I’m dealing with SEID/CFS negativity or negativity in general. What strategies do you use? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha

3 Comments

SEID/CFS Recovery – Trust the Process

10/13/2015

2 Comments

People use the word trust a lot. I’m not sure if they really understand its’ meaning. I recently had some sparks fly between me and someone I was working with on a project who is also a good friend. We were both surprised by the sudden eruption but I told her it was OK because I trusted her. I know her good intentions and the stress she’s feeling because her name is on the project. And it reminded me of my struggle with SEID/CFS when I was riding the daily roller coaster despite my efforts to follow the protocol.

On days when I was on schedule and feeling like I was managing my energy, getting rest and doing ‘the right things’, it was easier. On days when I felt lousy and nothing seemed to be going according to plan, it was horrible. Those bad days could do me in if I allowed myself to stay in that frustrated, down place. I finally came to understand that I had to trust the process of recovery. It’s easy to trust the process when you’re having a ‘good’ day. The real test of trust comes when you’re having an ‘awful’ day.

So on those awful days, I had to steer my frustration and depression back into trusting the process. Of course you have to have a process to place your trust in. My process was my protocol with the daily record as the anchor. It served not only as the grounded center of my work to solve my version of SEID/CFS but it was an anchor for my sanity.

We all know too well how much fodder SEID/CFS serves up for self bashing and depression and just ‘giving up’. The process was my way of turning that negative energy into positive action to get well. I placed my trust in that process even on the ‘bad’ days. Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha

2 Comments

SEID/CFS Guest Blog - Tim

10/6/2015

2 Comments

I really enjoyed your so funny intro this past week, Martha. Your voice is one of few who has been there, who has experienced the symptoms and found a way through it.

For myself, I know some of the elements which have helped me, but it is hard because my patience is not quite what it was, so those people in my environment who tend to aggravate me, well simply put, rather than mount an impassioned defense of myself, my views, my condition, I tend to avoid them as I would anything which seems and feels toxic.

This ties into something which I have wanted to share.   For some time I had counseling with a wonderful woman, who has passed away and I truly miss her counsel.   She is the one who taught me and my married partner at the time about codependency.   That tendency through our families and sometimes through our culture to care about others, in my case as with many, to the exclusion of taking care of myself, even when my intuition strongly advised me to avoid certain situations and certain people.   I have read too that women tend to have CFS at higher rates of frequency than men, in no small part I think from women's often traditional roles as care givers, nurturers, and often too those who tend to put the needs (and demands) of others ahead of their own well-being.   People who tend to overdo, to overstress, are more vulnerable to illness, and to immune related illnesses.

For my part I have over the past few years found a few truly reliable people with whom I feel more comfortable, more able to share who I am and feel accepted fully.   Most of these have been online, some of them have become very good friends.   It is possible to ‘sift the wheat from the chaff’ but for those of us coming from dysfunctional and too demanding environments and people, it may take more self-reflection and learning 'I count too'. Self-care is the best remedy for so many ills.   It is a process, and this is perhaps one of the hardest things, to go from ‘I should have known better’ to, I avoided this situation, I can feel good about that one.   When I do this, my mental and physical state are better, and I feel better.   Reducing stress and stressful situations to me is paramount to working toward recovery and better health.

Best of Health to All,
Tim

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.
Be Well Again,
Martha

2 Comments

SEID/CFS Recovery – Take Control

SEID/CFS Negativity - Think Dodgeball

SEID/CFS Recovery – Trust the Process

SEID/CFS Guest Blog - Tim

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SEID/CFS Recovery – Take Control

SEID/CFS Negativity - Think Dodgeball

SEID/CFS Recovery – Trust the Process

SEID/CFS Guest Blog - Tim

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