© 2015 TSM I really enjoyed your so funny intro this past week, Martha. Your voice is one of few who has been there, who has experienced the symptoms and found a way through it.
For myself, I know some of the elements which have helped me, but it is hard because my patience is not quite what it was, so those people in my environment who tend to aggravate me, well simply put, rather than mount an impassioned defense of myself, my views, my condition, I tend to avoid them as I would anything which seems and feels toxic.
This ties into something which I have wanted to share. For some time I had counseling with a wonderful woman, who has passed away and I truly miss her counsel. She is the one who taught me and my married partner at the time about codependency. That tendency through our families and sometimes through our culture to care about others, in my case as with many, to the exclusion of taking care of myself, even when my intuition strongly advised me to avoid certain situations and certain people. I have read too that women tend to have CFS at higher rates of frequency than men, in no small part I think from women's often traditional roles as care givers, nurturers, and often too those who tend to put the needs (and demands) of others ahead of their own well-being. People who tend to overdo, to overstress, are more vulnerable to illness, and to immune related illnesses.
For my part I have over the past few years found a few truly reliable people with whom I feel more comfortable, more able to share who I am and feel accepted fully. Most of these have been online, some of them have become very good friends. It is possible to ‘sift the wheat from the chaff’ but for those of us coming from dysfunctional and too demanding environments and people, it may take more self-reflection and learning 'I count too'. Self-care is the best remedy for so many ills. It is a process, and this is perhaps one of the hardest things, to go from ‘I should have known better’ to, I avoided this situation, I can feel good about that one. When I do this, my mental and physical state are better, and I feel better. Reducing stress and stressful situations to me is paramount to working toward recovery and better health.
Best of Health to All,
Tim
For myself, I know some of the elements which have helped me, but it is hard because my patience is not quite what it was, so those people in my environment who tend to aggravate me, well simply put, rather than mount an impassioned defense of myself, my views, my condition, I tend to avoid them as I would anything which seems and feels toxic.
This ties into something which I have wanted to share. For some time I had counseling with a wonderful woman, who has passed away and I truly miss her counsel. She is the one who taught me and my married partner at the time about codependency. That tendency through our families and sometimes through our culture to care about others, in my case as with many, to the exclusion of taking care of myself, even when my intuition strongly advised me to avoid certain situations and certain people. I have read too that women tend to have CFS at higher rates of frequency than men, in no small part I think from women's often traditional roles as care givers, nurturers, and often too those who tend to put the needs (and demands) of others ahead of their own well-being. People who tend to overdo, to overstress, are more vulnerable to illness, and to immune related illnesses.
For my part I have over the past few years found a few truly reliable people with whom I feel more comfortable, more able to share who I am and feel accepted fully. Most of these have been online, some of them have become very good friends. It is possible to ‘sift the wheat from the chaff’ but for those of us coming from dysfunctional and too demanding environments and people, it may take more self-reflection and learning 'I count too'. Self-care is the best remedy for so many ills. It is a process, and this is perhaps one of the hardest things, to go from ‘I should have known better’ to, I avoided this situation, I can feel good about that one. When I do this, my mental and physical state are better, and I feel better. Reducing stress and stressful situations to me is paramount to working toward recovery and better health.
Best of Health to All,
Tim
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Be Well Again,
Martha
Be Well Again,
Martha
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