Blog Posts

ME/CFS Progress – Where’s Your Focus?

4/6/2021

I recently participated in and IEP meeting – Individualized Education Plan – for a young friend. For part of the time, people talked about her successes. But for most of the meeting, people pointed out her weaknesses and where she needed to improve. And understandably, this is the point of the meeting. But I went away feeling that her accomplishments were impressive based on expectation. And there was no place to honor that progress. Of course it got me thinking about my struggle with ME/CFS and the way I could only focus on my weaknesses for a long time.

My first two years of struggling with ME/CFS were all about my failure to succeed at my life. All I thought about was what I wasn’t doing, who I was letting down and how I wasn’t figuring out what had happened to me. My focus was on what was going wrong and how it was my fault. One huge negative focus. Finally, after a horrendous crash, we decided to change our approach to ME/CFS and at the same time to change our focus. We started to move away from how I was failing and to focus on how I was progressing. The focus became centered on what I did that day and how I built on that the next day. Yes I had setbacks but we focused on the patterns that gave me positive results and repeated them.

So how are you making progress toward wellness? Where’s your focus? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.
Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Optimism – Brighter Days

3/16/2021

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It happens to me every year around the middle of March. Although I don’t see the signs of change in myself yet, one of my window plants catches my notice. There’s a new vibrancy in its color or maybe even a tiny sprout where a dead leaf has been dropped. Something triggers my attentiveness and before I’ve cognitively made the connection, I’m trimming, repotting and fertilizing all my plants.

What my plants have all been responding to, and what I’m also caught up in, are the longer days with brighter light streaming in my windows. And I think back to my ME/CFS days and remember how hard it was day after day, week after week and month after month to keep my spirits up. To remember my resolve to keep to the protocol, to allow myself the space to heal, and most importantly to cut myself the mental slack I needed. The only time I didn’t need to be intentional about being upbeat was when the light began to get noticeably brighter at this time of year. There’s a reaction to the increasing daylight that we experience on a cellular level. I’m sure there are reams of scientific studies that have investigated this response but I don’t need to read them. My sense of renewal and optimism are palpable. And during my ME/CFS struggle, it was natural to see this NOT as the marking of another year of this cruel illness, but as the beginning of the year when my progress would get me to the next health plateau – the next stage of recovery.

I’m hoping that you are able to harness this brighter light and natural source of anticipation to carry you successfully along your path back to wellness. Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Feng Shui – How Does Your Energy Flow?

2/23/2021

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I was recently rearranging the furniture in my family room in order to accommodate a new door. I also just wanted a new look without buying new furniture. As I began to move things around, I was surprised at how different the same things could look and function just by rearranging them. The energy in the room changed too. It felt airier and brighter – it flowed better. Of course this got me thinking about ME/CFS and how poorly my energy flowed.

For most of the first half of my struggle with ME/CFS, I didn’t regulate my energy at all. I burnt up whatever I had then crashed. There was no pacing. There was no intension to plan my day around what I could reasonably handle. And most important, there was no progress toward getting better. The opposite was true. I was getting worse.

Once I decided to take more control of my ME/CFS, my energy flow changed dramatically. Instead of the abrupt go, go then stop, stop, stop, I began to use my energy reserves at a slow but steady pace. Much like the familiar Tortoise and Hare story, I was slowly getting back to wellness one day at a time. And over a long period of time I got there. Sadly, I’m guessing that I left a few Hares behind still trapped in the cruelty of ME/CFS.

I’m sitting in my newly rearranged family room as I write. What a difference. The energy is flowing easily - not rushed or stopped up. How are you managing your energy flow? Have you embraced your tortoise? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.
Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Recovery – Trust the Process

2/2/2021

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People use the word trust a lot. I’m not sure if they really understand its meaning. I recently had some sparks fly between me and someone I was working with on a project who is also a good friend. We were both surprised by the sudden eruption but I told her it was OK because I trusted her. I know her good intentions and the stress she’s feeling because her name is on the project. And it reminded me of my struggle with ME/CFS when I was riding the daily roller coaster despite my efforts to follow the protocol.

On days when I was on schedule and feeling like I was managing my energy, getting rest and doing ‘the right things’, it was easier. On days when I felt lousy and nothing seemed to be going according to plan, it was horrible. Those bad days could do me in if I allowed myself to stay in that frustrated, down place. I finally came to understand that I had to trust the process of recovery. It’s easy to trust the process when you’re having a ‘good’ day. The real test of trust comes when you’re having an ‘awful’ day.

So, on those awful days, I had to steer my frustration and depression back into trusting the process. Of course, you have to have a process to place your trust in. My process was my protocol with the daily record as the anchor. It served not only as the grounded center of my work to solve my version of ME/CFS but it was an anchor for my sanity.

We all know too well how much fodder ME/CFS serves up for self bashing and depression and just ‘giving up’. The process was my way of turning that negative energy into positive action to get well. I placed my trust in that process even on the ‘bad’ days. Do you have a process you can trust? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.
Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS New Year - Take a fresh look

1/5/2021

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It’s a hackneyed part of our culture that everyone makes New Year resolutions which we earnestly pursue for one month. Then we return to our old habitual patterns. And every year we resolve not to let that happen yet again. So here we are. For many, it’s a desire to improve one’s health. If you’re struggling with ME/CFS, the stakes and the rewards are much higher than the average person who just wants to look or feel healthier. For us, it’s about reclaiming our lives and our ability to be fully functioning and present – to be well again.

I encourage you to take a fresh look at your version of ME/CFS. Hopefully you are keeping a daily log of your activities, sleeping/resting times, symptoms and medications. Step back and take an objective look at your patterns. Look for periods of wellness. What preceded those periods? Replicate those patterns. Look for periods of ill health or crashes. What preceded those periods? Don’t repeat those patterns. Look at your symptoms. Which are the most debilitating? When do they flair up? How can you treat them in order to short circuit the flair up? Look at your sleeping patterns. How can you improve the quality of your sleep? How can you make your bedroom into your version of slumber heaven – light, sound, comfort and sleep aids. Your daily log needs to be mined for clues as you find your path back to wellness.

If you’ve made progress this year and you’ve managed to shed some of the symptoms that were masking your version of ME/CFS, awesome! As you take a fresh look, you may get a clearer view of the key or central issues which characterize your version of ME/CFS and some insight into new approaches, strategies and clues to your next steps. It was through this methodical periodic review that I eventually unraveled my version of ME/CFS and was able to be fully well again. What will you focus on in this New Year? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Choices - The Holiday Bustle

12/8/2020

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We are all struggling with the pandemic caused by Covid-19. For many, the virus has touched them directly, either through illness of loved ones, even death, or being at daily risk in an essential job. For many, the economic hardships are threatening the survival of their families. For many, the separation from loved ones is causing emotional and mental health problems, especially for our isolated elderly. We are all trying to make sense of the conditions of the pandemic which have become the new normal.

And now, we are in the midst of the holidays which are usually a blur of activities in addition to the normal work and family commitments. But this year, we are being asked to forgo much of it. To stay in our limited circles in order to stop the spread of the virus. To ease up the burden on our hospitals, to even save lives.

For those of us who have spent many holiday seasons struggling with ME/CFS, this request isn’t as hard to accept. We get the pace that necessitates staying home. We understand the sadness of isolation. We have lived with forgoing much of the holidays.

This year, everyone is in a similar place for a completely different reason. And although Zoom is getting old, it is a way to connect that we didn’t have in the past.

How are you planning to spend the holidays? What are you paring back? What will you happily forego from the holiday hustle and bustle list? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Attitude – Find Thankfulness

11/24/2020

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When I sat down to blog about Thanksgiving, I looked at what I had written last year. I can’t do a better job of expressing how I feel about this holiday and struggling with ME/CFS at the same time. So here it is again:

Thanksgiving traditionally generates clichés about thankfulness. The mantra basically goes like this: Be thankful for what you DO have, not what is missing. Most of us would agree with this outlook. It is better to focus on the positive. But it isn’t easy to do especially when you’ve been struggling with ME/CFS for a year or for 20 years.

When I was sick, I would allow myself to indulge in some self pity around this time of year but I knew that was totally unproductive and a waste of what little energy I had. I would then get irritated with myself for my self-centered attitude and so just added more negativity to my load. But it can be unfair to expect a person who is struggling with a body that can’t handle normal activity to be upbeat, positive and ultimately thankful.

So as the rest of the world around me went about their daily routines, I would look at my life and try to find something to be thankful for. Mostly, I focused on the few people around me who understood what I was going through and supported me in large and small ways. I made a point to tell them how much I appreciated what they did.

And after I let go of the negativity toward myself, I realized that I needed to appreciate the work I did all year long. The work of getting well again. Sticking to the snails pace recovery, following the protocol when I didn’t want to and being present in my life in whatever way I could realistically handle.

Are you finding things to be thankful for? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.

And for you and all of your loved ones,
I wish you a warm and Bountiful Thanksgiving,
Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Brain Fog – Write it Down

11/10/2020

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One morning recently, I woke up to thick fog blanketing the yard. It was so dense that it reminded me of a night last spring when I was driving home and the lingering snow on the ground was a few inches thick. With temperatures in the mid 30s, there was a wall of thick fog hanging over the snow and drifting across the roads. In high school science class I learned that sublimation is the transformation of physical matter directly from a solid to a gas without ever becoming a liquid. So the night fog was the result of the frozen snow skipping over water and going straight to cloud vapor. And it reminded me of the frustrating brain fog I had when I was struggling with ME/CFS.

Kind of like the snow, my brain seemed to skip over the natural fluidity of conversations - the ebb and flow of ideas exchanged with one another. Or the transitional thoughts needed to get from a concern to a possible course of action. Concrete thoughts wouldn’t develop and instead slowly leaked out of my head like a balloon with a pin hole. I couldn’t remember what someone said a moment after they said it. It seemed to dissipate into the air without ever registering in my brain.

After denying the reality of my memory struggles for awhile, I finally came around and tried to cope with it. I started to write things down as I spoke with people and it helped me to keep the train of thought going. And when I was trying to think through something on my own, I also wrote it down. It felt stupid at first, but when it began it help, I appreciated the sense of accomplishment that resulted.

How are you coping with brain fog? What strategies have you developed? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.
Be Well Again,
Martha

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ME/CFS Routine – Each and Every Day After Day

10/27/2020

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If I had to pick one word that would describe my successful return to health after struggling with ME/CFS, it would be monotonous. Daily record, energy patterns and attitude are close seconds but ultimately the best word is monotonous. Did I mention monotonous? It was SO monotonous. Day after day monotonous. Are you starting to feel it? Tedious, lacking in variety, repetitious, monotonous. The same routine every day. Monotonous day after monotonous day.

At the depths of my struggle, this monotonous routine required me to take a two-hour nap twice a day. Full disclosure – I HATE naps. I haven’t napped since I was a toddler. Even then, I am told I was uncooperative during nap time. For whatever reason, unless I am sick or just come off an all nighter, I am not tired during the day. Daytime bed rest is like jail for me. So, my monotonous routine required monotonous bed rest. Even if I wasn’t sleeping, I had to be in bed with my eyes closed. Yeah, monotonous.

Sometimes it seemed to take an eternity to get to the end of a day. And what was my reward? Bed rest. Monotonous bed rest. And as my energy started to return, it was even MORE monotonous still following the napping and resting routine. But it worked. It all paid off. So, as you study your patterns and find the clues to your version of ME/CFS, find a way to manage the monotony of repetitious days. How do you manage the monotony? Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.
Be Well Again,
Martha

2 Comments

ME/CFS Progress –Review Your Patterns

10/6/2020

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For many, Fall is the gateway through which we return to familiar patterns after the long warm days of summer. Hopefully, we’ve spent some time in the outdoors and had a break or two from the norm. If you’re struggling with ME/CFS, the norm is the inability to function as a healthy person. So, the long days of summer may have only served to put an exclamation point on your disability and frustration which could have resulted in a push-relapse cycle…

As we return to normal patterns, it is obviously subjective. What a typical day looks like for one ME/CFS patient, can be completely different for another. But as each patient looks back over the past year, it would be wonderful to see improved health since last Fall and disappointing to feel worse. Which applies to you or those you care for? How do you get on the improved track?

For some, patterns are the key - unique patterns for each patient. Specific to each patient and situation. The key to recognizing patterns is keeping a detailed health log. As resistant as some may be to this idea, it is a focused way to get a handle on your unique version of this wastebasket diagnosis of ME/CFS. A patient’s memory is impaired and often useless for holding the train of thought during a conversation. How could the same person hold a week of patterns in his/her head? And then have the recall to see progress over a year?

If you are a patient and you are not keeping a daily health record, start today. Start right now. Get a pad of paper, a spiral notebook, the back of an envelope – just start writing down a brief summary of your day. If you have been keeping a record, what seems to be the most valuable information in your record? What is missing and would help to know? Please COMMENT or send in your thoughts and I’ll post them. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net. And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.
Be Well Again,
Martha

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Forward>>

ME/CFS Progress – Where’s Your Focus?

ME/CFS Optimism – Brighter Days

ME/CFS Feng Shui – How Does Your Energy Flow?

ME/CFS Recovery – Trust the Process

ME/CFS New Year - Take a fresh look

ME/CFS Choices - The Holiday Bustle

ME/CFS Attitude – Find Thankfulness

ME/CFS Brain Fog – Write it Down

ME/CFS Routine – Each and Every Day After Day

ME/CFS Progress –Review Your Patterns

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