...DEFEAT Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: ...............................................................You don't have to live with it
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ME/CFS Attitude – It Takes Love

3/19/2013

2 Comments

 
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© 2013 TSM
Pope Francis was inaugurated in Rome today and I had the opportunity to listen to parts of his sermon.  He is the spiritual leader of a good chunk of the Earth’s population so I was curious to hear what he chose to talk about for his first homily.  I honestly admit that I thought I would hear a string of reminders about the strict rules that Catholics should follow.  It was refreshing to hear him speak about love.  He emphasized the simple teachings of Jesus to love one another and to treat each other and ourselves with kindness. 
    
As I thought about my struggle with ME/CFS, it reminded me how unkind and unloving I was, at times, to myself.  It wasn’t intentional.  It was more of a side effect of how the medical practitioners sometimes made me feel.  Or the look or comment from someone who judged me to be lazy.  Or my own self-doubt about having an inherent weakness or flaw, which triggered my struggle with ME/CFS.  And when I was bedridden, there were endless hours to process negative fodder.  We can be most unkind to ourselves.

When I finally started to understand the importance of proactively managing my energy, it clicked that the mental drain I placed on myself was just as important as the physical.  I had to stop beating myself up.  As I began to respect the work I was doing in order to get well, I began to heal.  Are you harsh on yourself?  How do you cope?  Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha

2 Comments
Tim Boland
3/25/2013 03:46:06 am

For me, the pressure I have felt for a long time is self imposed, that perfectionist strain in me that leads to more trying to do things, well perfectly. With CFS, there are times I feel really irritable and lately for some months, a lot of anger surfaces. Not only about CFS and how unfair it can be but events in the past where I did not feel respected.

It occurred to me recently that as with any loss, there are the five stages of grief which have been discussed, whether it be from the loss of a loved one, a divorce, loss of a job or the loss of having a life once lived without pain and tiredness.

If I’m on the phone on a business call, and I don’t feel I am quite as ‘on it’ as I used to be, or I’m a little blunt with someone then after I’ll sometimes be hard on myself. Then I try to remember that this isn’t all my fault, that having an illness does make a difference. That it’s understandable if I don’t do things perfectly and that maybe in the past too, when I was striving to get things really right, I could relax more.

Yesterday I got up close to 9 in the morning and felt tired again before 11, so I just went back to bed, I laid in bed and it felt really good, and I noticed after pampering myself, that my symptoms were a lot less in the afternoon. I also sat outside in my lawn chair with the late afternoon sun and that brightened my day a lot. Sometimes it is not necessarily the big things, the little things help a lot too.

Reply
Martha
3/25/2013 05:01:07 am

I completely agree that part of struggling with ME/CFS is recognizing the loss we feel with not being able to live the full life we used to have. You've inspired my blog for tomorrow :) And it is the little things each day that can get us through to recovery. Thanks Tim!

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    After struggling with CFS for four years I am fortunate now to be fully well and making choices about how I want to live my healthy life.  One choice is to be an active part of the CFS community and to offer one voice from the fully recoverd to the dialogue.  I'm glad you're here!   For more about me, here's my Bio.

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