© 2011 TSM
A friend recently recommended that I read Amy Chua’s Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother. Shortly after, an item on the internet about the book caught my eye. There appeared to be some controversy about the book – a true story. Strong opinions were voiced for and against the mom - the author of the book. Now this definitely had my attention. I decided to pick up a copy.
I’d only read forty or so pages and I understood why people took issue with the mothers parenting style. She was driven to have her children excel at school and music to the exclusion of everything else. She was relentless about studies and practicing. A therapist would probably label her as obsessive. Many readers thought she was cruel.
If I had never had CFS, I might have been in the cruel camp. And I definitely question such extreme rigidity with children. But honestly, I understood the mother and her motivation. She set a goal for her children that she was determined to reach. OK, it wasn’t her own goal and she seemed to act like a bully at times. But what I identified with was the determination, the attitude to stick with the plan always keeping the goal in mind. Not being derailed by everyday distractions. For her, if it didn’t fit into the long term plan, it was not allowed.
After two years of riding the cruel CFS rollercoaster I finally decided that what I had been doing wasn’t working. I needed a new approach. From that day forward, I was like the tiger mother. I was highly motivated to get my health back. I was determined, focused and had the capacity for regimentation. If it wasn’t part of the plan, it was out. No more crappy food. No more activities that sent me into relapses. No more cheating on sleep and rest. No more isolation – I asked for help. No more fuzzy recall – I kept records. No more fretting about what other people thought of me – I accepted my situation and didn’t beat myself up about it. I focused on the goal of getting my health back.
So if you’re suffering with CFS, what is your goal? What are you doing to reach it? Are you consistent and steadfast? What’s your attitude toward this cruel illness? Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.
Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.
Be Well Again,
Martha
I’d only read forty or so pages and I understood why people took issue with the mothers parenting style. She was driven to have her children excel at school and music to the exclusion of everything else. She was relentless about studies and practicing. A therapist would probably label her as obsessive. Many readers thought she was cruel.
If I had never had CFS, I might have been in the cruel camp. And I definitely question such extreme rigidity with children. But honestly, I understood the mother and her motivation. She set a goal for her children that she was determined to reach. OK, it wasn’t her own goal and she seemed to act like a bully at times. But what I identified with was the determination, the attitude to stick with the plan always keeping the goal in mind. Not being derailed by everyday distractions. For her, if it didn’t fit into the long term plan, it was not allowed.
After two years of riding the cruel CFS rollercoaster I finally decided that what I had been doing wasn’t working. I needed a new approach. From that day forward, I was like the tiger mother. I was highly motivated to get my health back. I was determined, focused and had the capacity for regimentation. If it wasn’t part of the plan, it was out. No more crappy food. No more activities that sent me into relapses. No more cheating on sleep and rest. No more isolation – I asked for help. No more fuzzy recall – I kept records. No more fretting about what other people thought of me – I accepted my situation and didn’t beat myself up about it. I focused on the goal of getting my health back.
So if you’re suffering with CFS, what is your goal? What are you doing to reach it? Are you consistent and steadfast? What’s your attitude toward this cruel illness? Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them. You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.
Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays. And consider being part of the conversation.
Be Well Again,
Martha
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