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ME/CFS Gifts – Better Days

4/24/2018

3 Comments

 
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I live in New England where this winter has been weird – warm when it’s supposed to be cold then cold when we expect it to be warm.  I’ve had mixed feelings about it.  I love the coziness of a cold winter - but not the hassle of storms and hazardous travel.  I think most of us are done and ready for spring.
 
This week we’ve finally had some sunny warm days that reached above 60.  I went for a walk and felt all the usual stirrings of spring.  Of course, I knew that it wasn’t here to stay but the taste of it was enticing.  I remembered back to my ME/CFS years when after a period of intentional good behavior, doing everything I knew about how to get well, I had a really good day.  It was so enticing then to start my old life back – to forego all that I had learned in the hope that this was it.  It was a gift of one day that could reinforce all my intentions to stay the course or lure me into a false sense of full wellness.
 
Several times I was suckered in by the gift.  But after a few bad turns I got it.  By comparison it put so much in perspective.  So this is what it feels like to be better and feeling strong!  So just as I know that the 60 degree day is only a reminder of the spring to come, back then I had to avoid the pitfall of a wonderful gift of a better ME/CFS day.  Revel in its potential to be repeated more often and stay the course of pacing.
 ​
How have you reacted to these gifted days?  Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha
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ME/CFS Stop – When we had other plans

3/27/2018

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Recently we were driving along with a schedule for the day.  Then bang.  We had a tire blow out.  We were able to safely get to the side of road but that one event shot holes in the plan for the day.  As we began to assess the condition of our spare tire and whether all the parts of the jack were in the truck, I was reminded of how ME/CFS suddenly forced me to change my plans.

There I was, tooling along with my life plan and then suddenly – bang – I was so ill that I was bedridden.  And after going through the seemingly endless screening process, I was diagnosed with ME/CFS.  Not great news.

Back on the side of the road, we thought we had everything to change the tire and started in.  Then we realized that the jack crank was missing.  Great – that meant that we had to raise up the car one half turn at a time.  As I knelt by the car, inserting the lug wrench, turning a half turn, removing the lug wrench, moving it back to the other side, then reinserting and turning a half turn – over and over and over – I kept thinking about how ME/CFS required me to invent tools to get well because the normal methods didn’t work.  And getting well was agonizingly slow.  And repetitive.  And repetitive.  And really repetitive.

So having that flat tire abruptly changed my plans and it took more time than it should have because we didn’t have the right tools.  And getting ME/CFS abruptly changed my life plans and it took more time to get well from ME/CFS because we needed to invent the right tools.   What tools are you inventing?  What tools are you learning from others?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha
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ME/CFS Recovery – Take Control

2/27/2018

2 Comments

 
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Have you had the experience of being introduced to a new perspective or way of looking at something and then suddenly you see it everywhere?  Is it something new that’s popping up everywhere or had it been there all the time?  Is it you who has changed by being aware or more open?  From my own experience, I think it’s me.  And when I truly grasp a new perspective, it seems to apply to everything.

My latest perspective is about control versus out of control.  So much of our lives are controlled from somewhere else.  But there is much that we can control.  Not everything and not all of a certain thing, but there is much that we can tweak, reinforce and push for.  Lately I’ve heard many people express to me and wring their hands about how things are happening in their lives.  And they take the perspective that they are at the mercy of whatever it is.  And as I hear this, my mind is saying take control.  Make some intentional changes and be proactive.  And of course it’s gotten me thinking about my struggle with ME/CFS.

At first, I turned over control of my illness to my doctors.  But after much wasted time and energy, I finally admitted to myself that not only did they not have the answers, they ultimately just didn’t get it.  A few were compassionate but that just felt good.  It didn’t get me well.  Finally I started to carve out pieces that I could control.  I was sick of being sick and I was sick of getting nowhere.  So, even though I wasn’t convinced that I really could change my SEID/CFS illness, I was so ticked off about having no answers to this cruel disease that I just started recording and tweaking.  Recording and tweaking.  Recording and tweaking ad nauseum.

So I just took action.  I didn’t know what I was doing.  But I was doing and it felt good.  Would I get anywhere?  I didn’t know but it felt better exerting some control.  Eventually it became my path back to wellness but I didn’t know that when I started.  I just needed to take some control.  And it was good for my mental health.  Are you taking some control of your version of ME/CFS?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome.

Look for my next posting on Tuesday, March 13th.  And consider being part of the conversation.
Be Well Again,
Martha
2 Comments

ME/CFS Plan – Only Keep Your Successful Strategies

1/16/2018

2 Comments

 
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I learned a new card game over the weekend with a specific deck that contained resource, action and reward cards.  The premise of the game was to start with a few cards and then slowly, through the gameplay, build a personal deck of select cards that you thought would be successful in winning the game.  On every turn you had to make choices about what to keep, what to acquire and what to aim for.  After playing three hands, of course I began to think about ME/CFS and how I had used a similar plan to get well.

After struggling for almost two years, only getting worse, I finally decided that I needed a better plan than my daily ‘how do I feel today?’ approach with the hope that by some miracle I would walk away fully recovered.  FYI – I’ve never heard of this actually working for a ME/CFS patient.  I decided that I needed a real plan.  One made up of a handful of strategies that had actually improved some aspect of my illness.  Over time I collected a record keeping strategy, a sleep strategy, a rest schedule strategy, a provider strategy, a nutrition strategy, a supplement strategy and a network for help strategy.  Each strategy alone wasn’t going to get me well by itself but as a complementary set of strategies I was able to not only make measureable progress but eventually return to full health.

In essence, I built a personal deck of strategies which I played each day much like the new card game I had learned albeit the stakes were much higher.  What strategies have worked for you and are in your personal ME/CFS plan deck?  What strategies have you discarded?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha
2 Comments

ME/CFS New Year - Take a fresh look

1/9/2018

2 Comments

 
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It’s a hackneyed part of our culture that everyone makes New Year resolutions which we earnestly pursue for one month.  Then we return to our old habitual patterns.  And every year we resolve not to let that happen yet again.  So here we are.  For many, it’s a desire to improve one’s health.  If you’re struggling with ME/CFS, the stakes and the rewards are much higher than the average person who just wants to look or feel healthier.  For us, it’s about reclaiming our lives and our ability to be fully functioning and present – to be well again.
 
I encourage you to take a fresh look at your version of ME/CFS.  Hopefully you are keeping a daily log of your activities, sleeping/resting times, symptoms and medications.  Step back and take an objective look at your patterns.  Look for periods of wellness.  What preceded those periods?  Replicate those patterns.  Look for periods of ill health or crashes.  What preceded those periods?  Don’t repeat those patterns.  Look at your symptoms.  Which are the most debilitating?  When do they flair up?  How can you treat them in order to short circuit the flair up?  Look at your sleeping patterns.  How can you improve the quality of your sleep?  How can you make your bedroom into your version of slumber heaven – light, sound, comfort and sleep aids.  Your daily log needs to be mined for clues as you find your path back to wellness. 
 
If you’ve made progress this year and you’ve managed to shed some of the symptoms that were masking your version of ME/CFS, awesome!  As you take a fresh look, you may get a clearer view of the key or central issues which characterize your version of ME/CFS and some insight into new approaches, strategies and clues to your next steps.  It was through this methodical periodic review that I eventually unraveled my version of ME/CFS and was able to be fully well again.  What can you see in your patterns?  What will you focus on in this New Year?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha
2 Comments

ME/CFS Pacing – Keeping the Beat

11/14/2017

2 Comments

 
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I was recently playing drums with a small group of drummers and what started with a base rhythm devolved into a less than pleasant cacophony of noise.  If you’ve ever sat in on a drum circle, you know exactly what I mean.  To solve this problem, the leader needs to lay down a basic simple beat and hold it.  It gives everyone a point of reference to play off of and to return to and it keeps the group cohesive.  Experienced drummers already know this and learners usually pick it up when the leader points it out.  When you’re struggling with ME/CFS, there’s no leader to set the basic beat.
 
When a large mother drum is present, several people sit around it and hold down a beat – sometimes it’s a heartbeat.  It sounds like an actual heart beating – boom, boom, pause.  Boom, boom, pause.  Just like the line you’d see scrolling across the screen of a cardiac monitor.  Two peaks followed by a flatter line.  It’s all about the underlying rhythm - the natural pacemaker.
 
Unfortunately for ME/CFS patients, it’s a challenge to keep the basic beat – the pace that will consistently get us from day to day without being caught up in a push/crash cycle.  It’s a matter of fine tuning.  Collect data, make observations, find successful patterns – Repeat.  Repeat, Repeat, Pause.  Repeat, Repeat, Pause.  And eventually Repeat your way back to health.
 
How do you pace to a basic beat?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!
 
Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.
 
Be Well Again,
Martha
2 Comments

ME/CFS Change – New Beginnings

9/5/2017

2 Comments

 
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Although the official beginning of Fall will arrive on the Autumnal Equinox, the days after the long Labor Day weekend and the sighting of a morning school bus bring on the feel of the changing season.  Although some of us would enjoy an extra week or two of August weather, it’s time.  And nature reinforces that with the cooler nights and comfortable daytime temps.  When I was first sick with ME/CFS, I would grind on myself about another season come and gone – wasted – while I languished in bed.  I was still caught up in the desperate search to find someone who could cure me.
 
Then I finally began to realize that there wasn’t a silver bullet – even now, I’m sad that there isn’t – and that I needed a new approach.  A change - A new beginning.  I had been doing the same things over and over again and expecting a different outcome – I believe that’s the definition of insanity.  And yes, anyone would get a little insane if they knew they were physically ill but no one could or would provide some answers.
 
Many of us find change to be outside of our comfort zones.  But change is the way forward for many of life’s challenges.  ME/CFS is no exception.  It wasn’t until I took a hard look at myself and my specific version of ME/CFS that I began to heal and work my way back to full health.
 
What change will you bring to your approach to ME/CFS?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!
 
Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.
 
Be Well Again,
Martha
2 Comments

ME/CFS/SEID Recovery – It Takes Some Dedicated Time

7/11/2017

2 Comments

 
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Every once in a while, I drag out my soap box….  Here I go….

I frequently receive emails from people who have been struggling with ME/CFS/SEID for way too long.  This is such a cruel disease.  And I know that everyone’s situation is different with demands and responsibilities.  But recovery from ME/CFS/SEID, at least for me, came at a price.   A very high price.   I literally gave up two years of my life in order to recover.  And, as you already know, I hated every minute of it up until I started to taste how it used to feel to be well.  And when I got that taste, I had hope that I could recover.  Full disclose:  I had to repeat that ‘first taste’ experience three times before I fully understood what I needed to do next which was nothing.

I needed to stick with the protocol and rest.  I needed to stay right where I was and continue to do all the self-care that had gotten me that far.  And that’s when I truly began to hate the protocol.  As I felt better and better, I continued with the restrictive protocol.  Ad nauseam.

So here are my questions to you.  How long have you been struggling with ME/CFS/SEID?  What quality of life are you living?  How much time would two years be compared with all the years you’ve already been struggling?  What would you lose?  Could you dedicate One year to only being a Patient?  I know.  It’s a very high price.  This is a cruel disease.  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha
2 Comments

ME/CFS/SEID Hope – Take Action

5/2/2017

2 Comments

 
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Recently the Dalai Lama was visiting the Boston area and we were able to watch one of his talks via live stream on the web.  Like most spiritual leaders, he shared some universal ideas about our common humanity.  After his talk, he answered questions from the audience.  One person asked if he prayed and did he feel that prayer was helpful for creating world peace.  His answer was quick and emphatic.  “No!  Not prayer or hope or blessings.  For change, you need action.”
 
I immediately thought back to my struggle with ME/CFS/SEID.  Although hope was good to have, it didn’t get me anywhere without action to back it up.  It wasn’t until I stopped looking for someone else to cure me that I finally started to make progress toward wellness.  It was the specific actions from my protocol that got me well.  And of course I was optimistic and hopeful as much as I could manage.  But that didn’t allow me to defeat ME/CFS/SEID.  It was the day-to-day, week-to-week, month-to-month actions I took to bring about my recovery.
 
So my reaction to the Dalai Lama’s answer was a big smile.  He knows what he’s talking about.  How do you turn your hope for recovery into action?  What strategies do you use?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha
2 Comments

ME/CFS/SEID Strategies – Give Them Time

4/18/2017

2 Comments

 
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I’ve been working on some changes in my life, as we all do from time to time, and I’m running into an obstacle – Impatience.  For some reason, I’m finding it hard to give myself the time and space to follow through on my approach long enough to see real change.  And of course, as I realize that I’m the one standing in my own way, I remember how hard it was to be patient when I was struggling with ME/CFS/SEID.
 
In the beginning, the frustration and anger I felt about being sick siphoned off a lot of my precious energy.  But the hardest hit I took was from impatience.  After I began to be proactive about ME/CFS/SEID – not waiting for someone else to find the answer to my illness – I had difficulty giving my strategies the time they needed to feel the effects.  I wanted to see improvement quickly.  At the start, I wanted to see results over the next few days.  And if I didn’t see any improvement, I’d abandon that strategy and try something else.  As you might imagine, I dismissed several good strategies quickly without giving them the time they needed.
 
Luckily, I finally understood that in my haste, I was running out of ideas.  So as I recycled some, I took more time and began to see real progress.  Are you giving your strategies the time they need to succeed?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha
2 Comments
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    Hello,  I'm
    Martha Kilcoyne
    Welcome
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    After struggling with CFS for four years I am fortunate now to be fully well and making choices about how I want to live my healthy life.  One choice is to be an active part of the CFS community and to offer one voice from the fully recoverd to the dialogue.  I'm glad you're here!   For more about me, here's my Bio.

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