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ME/CFS Energy – Intentional Use

8/7/2012

4 Comments

 
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© 2012 TSM
I’ve been doing some reflection of late on my priorities as I move into the second half of my life – OK I’m planning on becoming a centenarian but in the real actuarial world I’m way past the halfway mark.  So I’m an optimist.  There are worse things.

As I look forward, I’m trying to be intentional about what I focus on and how I spend my time.  I frequently think about the Annie Dillard quote, ‘How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.’  When I was struggling with ME/CFS and finally on the right path to unraveling the clues to my own version of ME/CFS, I constantly thought about conserving my energy.  Nowadays, in the ME/CFS community, we frequently talk about the energy envelope and how to carefully protect and nurture our energy progress.

What I think we miss in that approach is the opportunity to look forward and make intentional choices about how we will thoughtfully expend what energy we DO have.  And not to empty it out.  But to be aware of the choices we are making about how we spend our precious energy reserves and how that fits in with our longer term goals unrelated to our being in the midst of struggling with a cruel disease.

I realize that looking beyond the near future is tough for an ME/CFS patient but I think that it can add value and resolve to the work of getting back to health.  Do you think about how you’re spending your available energy in terms of what you want to be focusing on once you’re well?  Can intentionally using even a small amount of energy in that direction allay some of your frustration with thinking you’re wasting time?  Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha

4 Comments
Bill Goodin
8/7/2012 09:15:44 am

I like the quote from Annie Dillard. It is worth meditating on. Someone else remarked, "Life is what is happening while we are planning our future". Both Annie Dillard's quote & the later quote are, of course, true.
Historically, I have lived more "in the moment", sometimes "getting stuck", my wife would add. I do "get stuck", expend energy which I will need in the near & distant future.Planning & anticipating our future is indeed a challenge for me.We all know that anticipating something is almost as fun or helpful as "the trip" itself.Your remarks are good, essential, & helpful reminders to me. Anticipating & planning can be very healing. Balancing the present with the future is critical for me. "Pacing" myself does not come naturally, & especially since developing CFS. Keeping an eye on the future, anticipating, & planning can help me better "pace" or "more efficiently/wisely" use today's energy. Thank you for your reminders.
Bill

Reply
Martha
8/7/2012 10:15:31 am

Your comments about 'getting stuck' are so true for all of us. Often I can lose my way because I'm hung up on something that in the larger picture, has no importance and is a waste of energy. What works best for me is keeping my eyes on the good stuff on the road ahead and enjoying watching the negative stuff receded in the rearview mirror. Thanks Bill!

Reply
Tim Boland
8/13/2012 06:17:05 am

Your blog provides something that I dearly wished for Martha, in the early days of my illness, when honestly I felt I had no one to speak with or share feelings about my condition. Some say that trying to explain the taste of orange to someone who has never tasted one is difficult, if not impossible on some levels. And sometimes this is how it feels to try to relate how I feel and what I hope for in the way of support from others.

A good friend of mine has been having some people who as she said yesterday “are sucking the energy out of me”. This reminded me of how important it is to set boundaries for ourselves, especially when the energy we feel in our bodies is less and as you note, it is so important to conserve and use our energy wisely. When we feel weakened or not at our best, it is sometimes tempting in the beginning to seek out anyone who seems to be willing to listen. As time has passed, I have found those with whom I feel safer in sharing my feelings, even if they don’t understand the illness completely, they are supportive of healing. It is often not easy for me to set boundaries having been raised in a co-dependent family and being a people pleaser.

When I honor the feelings in my body, and I am listening better, then as the Buddhist saying goes ‘when tired, rest; when hungry, eat’ … when I do so, my body and mind are calmer, with rest comes healing.

Reply
Martha
8/14/2012 01:19:04 am

I so resonate with your friend whom people are "sucking the energy out of"! Personal boundries are important and a balancing act. We want to be there for others but we need to protect our own energy and time. Struggling with ME/CFS makes this even more imperative. Thanks Tim!

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    Hello,  I'm
    Martha Kilcoyne

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     to our Community!

    After struggling with CFS for four years I am fortunate now to be fully well and making choices about how I want to live my healthy life.  One choice is to be an active part of the CFS community and to offer one voice from the fully recoverd to the dialogue.  I'm glad you're here!   For more about me, here's my Bio.

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