...DEFEAT Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: ...............................................................You don't have to live with it
  • Home
  • About
    • This Site
    • Martha
  • Participate
  • Contact
    • Contact Form
    • Submissions
  • Links
  • Book
  • Further Lessons
  • Thanks

ME/CFS Load – Cut Yourself Some Holiday Slack

11/27/2012

2 Comments

 
Picture
Before I was sick with ME/CFS, this was the time of year for long lists of ‘To Dos’ and even longer lists of ‘To Buys’.  These lists included a lot of shopping trips, decorating, baking, wrapping, card mailing, entertaining and generally trying to please everyone I loved and cared about.  Even when I was healthy, it was overwhelming and I frequently fell short.  Then when I was struggling with ME/CFS, it was the perfect storm that launched a major push crash cycle.  And more failure which, of course, I internalized and turned into more stress and energy drain.

After a particularly bad holiday week, I finally came to realize that not taking care of myself not only hurt me but actually added to the load for everyone else.  The best gift I could give to my family around the holidays was the healthiest me I could muster.  And that required tearing up the ‘To Do’ list and being realistic.  Not easy to do when the carols are playing and the lights are twinkling.  The cultural and commercial pressure is pervasive around the holidays.

Eventually I learned to cut myself some holiday slack and let it all go.  I picked out a few choice things which I gave myself plenty of time to do.  And I gave my family the healthiest ME/CFS sufferer I could manage.  Even now, after I am fully recovered, I have eliminated much of the holiday rush.  I’ll never go back to the hectic ‘To Do’ list.  What have you trimmed from the holiday ‘To Dos’?  How do you cope?  Please COMMENT or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha

2 Comments
Tim Boland
11/27/2012 06:55:07 pm

Your blog is a reminder that Christmas is almost here. Something I have become especially fond of doing is buying things on Amazon, with their prime service (sorry I’m not advertising!). It often saves me from having to go to the store and there’s something fun about having the UPS guy show up, like he’s always delivering presents. It’s a great place to find and get gifts.

In this area, a major grocer also have home delivery, not only for people who can’t get out so easily but also for anyone who’s just too busy. And it reduces a lot of stress, it is one less thing which I need to deal with and for awhile, more than I could do.

I’ve tried to be honest with my family, which now is my children and they’re all grown, so that’s helped too. Initially, especially from my son, there was a lot of resistance, perhaps because he had a hard time accepting the change in me. But now, he’s showing a softer and gentler side. I appreciate that my kids are for the most part more caring. They don’t do a lot in terms of helping, which I think is somewhat typical of younger generations, unfortunately. But this has also helped me grow so that I do much more for myself now, and I enjoy the freedom and being able to do it. And with things I don’t want to do, like yard work, there is always Craigslist!

Thanks too Martha for your suggestion about looking over a change in my behavior over the past few weeks, and the pattern is clear … overdoing and expecting too much.

Reply
Martha
11/28/2012 02:30:29 am

Good holiday tips for having others do your running around. And I think you're smart to be open with your family and talking about your struggle and how they can support you even if it's moral rather than physical.

Your use of Amazon is savy and if you click on the Amazon link on my website to get to Amazon, I get a few pennies when you make a purchase which helps with my website overhead. But I'm not adverstising! :) Thanks Tim!

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Picture
    Hello,  I'm
    Martha Kilcoyne

    Welcome
     to our Community!

    After struggling with CFS for four years I am fortunate now to be fully well and making choices about how I want to live my healthy life.  One choice is to be an active part of the CFS community and to offer one voice from the fully recoverd to the dialogue.  I'm glad you're here!   For more about me, here's my Bio.

      Join Our Community
      Enter your email address to
      follow this blog.

    Join

    For Books, Supplements, Sleep aids and more

    Picture

    Archives

    December 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012
    December 2011
    November 2011
    October 2011
    September 2011
    August 2011
    July 2011

    Categories

    All
    Appreciation
    Attitude
    Being Positive
    Brain Fog
    Choices
    Community
    Connect
    Coping
    Data
    Diagnosis
    Doctor
    Emotions
    Energy
    First
    Food
    Funding
    Genetics
    Goals
    Gratitude
    Groups
    Guest Blog
    Gut Feelings
    Health
    Helping
    Holidays
    Hope
    Humor
    Immune Support
    Inner Voice
    Ion Channelopathy
    Irony
    Isolation
    Journal
    Log
    Mantra
    Memory
    Mind
    Negativity
    Nutrition
    Opinions
    Organizations
    Outlook
    Pace
    Participate
    Patience
    Patterns
    Personality
    Perspective
    Protocol
    Provider
    Pushing Too Hard
    Pushing Too Hard
    Record
    Recovery
    Relapses
    Research
    Resolutions
    Rest
    Sleep Depravation
    Step By Step
    Step By Step
    Strategies
    Supplements
    Support
    Take Control
    Take Control
    Thankfulness
    Vacation
    Variables
    Version

    RSS Feed

    Picture
    Copyright © 2011-2012
    Triple Spiral MEDIA LLC