...DEFEAT Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: ...............................................................You don't have to live with it
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ME/CFS/SEID Negativity – Walk Away from It

6/6/2017

2 Comments

 
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Recently I was talking with an acquaintance about a personal challenge he was working through.  As we began to explore some of his options, the conversation quickly turned negative as he recounted events in his past that he blamed on others and offered as the reasons why he was being held back now.  In contrast, I have a friend whose childhood and youth was so challenging, I’ve wondered if I could have come through it.  And yet, she is one of the most nurturing, kind and upbeat people I know.

Of course, I think about my struggle with ME/CFS/SEID and I honestly admit that I spent a lot of wasted time in negative territory at the beginning.  The total loss of control of my life paired with the frustration of no answers, led me down a negative path.  It took a couple years of indulging in the negative before I realized that it was not only useless, it drained me even more than the ME/CFS/SEID itself.


When you’re struggling with ME/CFS/SEID, it’s understandable to harbor anger as well as some negativity toward your situation and even yourself.  But it only saps our already limited energy.  In order to walk that path back to health, leave negativity behind you.  Walk away from it.  You’ll be more energized and less burdened.  How do you deal with the negative?  What are your strategies?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,
Martha


2 Comments
Tim Boland
6/11/2017 07:52:28 pm

Good evening, Martha and everyone. Your blog this week has helped put me on a more positive path. I could see this happening of gradually becoming more negative in my outlook, but I imagine as with many of us, the signs are subtle and gradual. Also as I related recently, after a much too loud MRI session, where I was not offered ear plugs, I have been struggling with what seems a mild version of tinnitus.

This recent health episode has alarmed me, and my thoughts went to ‘why is this happening to me’. I feel it is most important that we embrace our own sorrow, grief and loss when it comes to anything which hurts, causes us suffering. So true to my own nature, and reading quite a bit but trying to avoid negativity, I came across first some YouTube videos by a man in the UK who suffered for 16 years with tinnitus. I found that he authored a book, which like Martha’s true life account with CFS, rings with truth.

And what surprised me truly, was the parallel between how this man approached his tinnitus and suffering, now virtually well, by self reflection. He speaks about how many with this ear issue tend to be driven people, often too hard on themselves, and as anyone would likely do, feeling bad and perhaps at times, without hope. He also points to clear ways toward going through the struggle and finding out what helps, and what does not. Stress is a major one, also expecting too much of oneself and pushing oneself to the limit. These things sounded so familiar to me, with my experience with CFS and possibly Fibro, and how your book Martha provides insights to develop a plan to wellness that have been a very valuable guide now for some years.

I have a friend who is also Buddhist, and I sense sometimes that he may be disappointed that I do not see things in just the way he does. He seems to be on a path which is more ascetic than mine, recognizing feelings but seeing them as restrictive, not wanted ultimately. In an American way, perhaps it is his way of embracing the idea of ‘get over it’, though with some gentleness.

I find in my journey that I must follow who I am, which is an emotional person. I also very much more of a type B personality, someone who seeks peace and harmony, and quiet, and always have. But due to the nature of my business, I am often pulled toward stressful situations and many of us who have CFS, are also affected more deeply with everyday stresses than before the illness. My ending for today is that I know it’s vital that I be loving and patient with myself, that pushing myself does not help, and that it is ok to have a gradual recovery.

Reply
Martha
6/12/2017 08:26:47 pm

I am repeatedly amazed by all the different paths that people walk to regain their health. But, and here's my bias, most of them are based on data specific to the patient. Soap box! Thanks Tim.

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    Hello,  I'm
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    After struggling with CFS for four years I am fortunate now to be fully well and making choices about how I want to live my healthy life.  One choice is to be an active part of the CFS community and to offer one voice from the fully recoverd to the dialogue.  I'm glad you're here!   For more about me, here's my Bio.

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