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SEID/CFS Depression – Rainy Days Made Me Happy

6/2/2015

4 Comments

 
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It’s a cold rainy day in New England after several hot summery days.  For the second day of June one might expect something different.  But I’ve lived here my whole life and one can always count on the weather to change moment to moment.  So today, as I settled in for a less active indoor day, I started thinking about my struggle with SEID/CFS and those rainy days.  One might think that like some people, rainy days would have seemed dreary and sad back then.  But the opposite was true.  Rainy days made me very happy.

Why?  When I was struggling with SEID/CFS, sunny warm days made me miserable.  I wanted so much to be out and going about my life.  And lovely days were a tough reminder that I was too ill to participate in my own life – in anyone’s life.  Those days seemed twice as long as normal.  They dragged and dragged and dragged on some more.  Those days were depressing.

I must admit, somewhat ashamed, that cold rainy days made me feel like other people might have their days limited as mine were.  Not with the physical symptoms of SEID/CFS but the limitations on mobility.  The restriction of activity and possibly some of the isolation.  I felt like other people were stuck in it with me.  A sort of warped sense of misery loves company.  And this made me happy.  OK, not one of my best moments.

As I began to understand that I needed to get off the SEID/CFS roller coaster and focus on a real recovery plan, this weather influenced attitude began to change.  My daily approach to healing became a matter of choice as I was no longer a victim of SEID/CFS but rather someone who was on an intentional recovery path.  Nowadays when I’m trapped indoors on cold rainy days, I like to make the best of it and imagine I have lots of company.  And a nap is nice too.  How do you relate to cold rainy days?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!

Look for a weekly posting on Tuesdays.  And consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,

Martha


4 Comments
Eleni
6/2/2015 03:05:55 am

I don't too often get miserable about sunny days here (Sydney, Australia - we have a fair few) except on the weekends sometimes! It's helped by having a few big beautiful windows in my bedroom which help make things nicer and brighter. I do however know what you mean about the rainy days! For me it's a feeling of not being the only one stuck inside and the world is going slower so I'm not falling behind as fast as usual - odd perhaps but it is a relaxing thought. I think your and my reactions are only natural considering the somewhat unusual limitations that were forcibly placed on us and we had to cope with those, not for a short period but long term! Thanks Martha for another great post I can (Really) relate to!

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Martha
6/2/2015 03:21:14 am

Glad to hear that I'm not the only one. Thanks Eleni!

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Donna link
6/3/2015 12:26:45 am

I feel the same way...winter is good for me too. I'm generally a person who is happy for others and enjoy watching people happily living their lives. But, sometimes, those feelings of being cheated creep in. Then, I realize I'm comparing my life to theirs...making judgements. I try to return to my gratitude place and count my blessings. I wonder if either of you ever experience what I sometimes do. I forget that I'm sick...now it's been nearly 25 years of fatigue, pain, and wacky symptoms, but, sometimes I'll see someone doing something that I used to enjoy when I was well. For example, riding a bike, and I'll think to myself, "I should get a bike and ride once in a while!!" Maybe I'll think about it for a minute or so...the speed, the wind in my hair, the freedom. Then...BANG...reality will hit me. I can't do that. Such sadness.

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Martha
6/3/2015 11:33:21 pm

Winter felt the same to me too! And I used to imagine that I was hiking up to wonderful Vistas. To places where I had been before and enjoyed awe inspiring views. I have a feeling Donna that you'll be back on that bike again someday. Thanks

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    Hello,  I'm
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    After struggling with CFS for four years I am fortunate now to be fully well and making choices about how I want to live my healthy life.  One choice is to be an active part of the CFS community and to offer one voice from the fully recoverd to the dialogue.  I'm glad you're here!   For more about me, here's my Bio.

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