...DEFEAT Chronic Fatigue Syndrome: ...............................................................You don't have to live with it
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SEID/CFS Lost Opportunities? – Just Postponed

8/18/2015

2 Comments

 
Picture© 2015 TSM
We recently spent a weekend with my niece and her young family at the lake.  My great niece is three and is so much like my daughter was at that age – the bright smile and giggly laugh.  The difference is that I can play with her, dance with her and even pick her up.  When my daughter was a baby, I was in the depths of SEID/CFS and couldn’t hold a glass of water let alone a fifteen pound baby.  I missed my daughters’ time as a baby and toddler.  Even when she was three, I was still unable to pick her up or do active play with her.

Did I miss out on an experience that I can never get back?  One could look at it that way.  And of course, I can’t get it back with my daughter.  But spending time with my great niece was such a wonderful gift.  It was like recovering that lost experience.  And my daughter was there too.  She just turned twenty-two.  It was a joy to see her holding her cousin on her hip and playing with her.

If I had tried to ‘do it all’ with my daughter, I know that I would still be struggling with SEID/CFS.  SEID/CFS had such a profound hold on me that it took dedicated focus, to the exclusion of all else, to get well - even the joys of my daughters’ babyhood.  I did find ways to enjoy her and be her Mom but they needed to be energetically limited.  And I would do it the same again because now, and for the last fifteen years, I’ve been a full participant in my life, her life and the lives of all my loved ones.  So now I plan to see my great niece as much as possible and revel in this new opportunity to recover something that was just postponed.

Are you balancing choices that might be missed opportunities?  Are you planning ways to recover them later?  Please COMMENT on this blog or Send in your thoughts and I’ll post them with your permission.  You can use the Contact Form or send an email to Martha at DefeatCFS dot net.  And Guest Blogs are most welcome!


I will be off the grid for the next two weeks.  I’m looking forward to the time I’ll be spending away from the distractions of technology however much I love its’ gift of connectedness.  Look for my next posting on Tuesday, September 8th.

Have a restful and rejuvenating end of summer and consider being part of the conversation.

Be Well Again,


Martha

2 Comments
Tim Boland
8/23/2015 08:25:51 am

I appreciate so much your blog this week, Martha. It is a reminder to me that as much suffering as CFS has brought to me, as it has to so many with this illness, I was not so gravely ill as to be unable to pick up fifteen pounds, as with your baby. It is a testament to your determination that you were able to stay with your goals and to follow them through.

I am fortunate in some ways that I live alone at this time, and I have a woman who comes to help often with house and yard work. She is easy going so it is a good fit.

Putting in the time now for self care is the most important element in my life. I continue to listen to my Qigong nearly every day and when possible I walk nearly every day too.

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Martha
8/23/2015 02:33:49 pm

Tim, you're doing a good job of self care. I took me quite a while before I got it. Thanks!

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    Hello,  I'm
    Martha Kilcoyne

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    After struggling with CFS for four years I am fortunate now to be fully well and making choices about how I want to live my healthy life.  One choice is to be an active part of the CFS community and to offer one voice from the fully recoverd to the dialogue.  I'm glad you're here!   For more about me, here's my Bio.

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